yes. i know, i am back.

a rather uneventful holiday. and the very first holiday where i actually *earned* more money then i spent.

spent most of my time lounging in my grandparents' house in front of the tv or lounging in my dad's hotel room in the nice bathtub.

but i guess it makes for a interesting blog read.

wrote some stuff down so that i would blog about it later, an idea borrowed from sarah lim.

day #1:
arrive at the grandparents'.
they have a new dog.
a small white one.
that jumps on me and drools all over.
and gets white fur on my jeans.
despite the fact that it has never met me before.

and met the grandparents.
man, they kiss a lot.
which now is kind of weird since i am a whole "shoulders and head taller" than my grandmother so now i have to stoop down.

which also ended up in my nike bag and shoe bag falling off my shoulder only to be picked up by my meddlesome cousins.

they saw me and screamed "LIZZIE!!!" and then each of them grabbed onto each of my legs. and refuse to let go.

they've got a really good grip.

so i had to somehow make my way around the house, with two kids attached to my legs, and wheeling my suitcase behind me.

and then got plumetted by kisses by everyone.

family tradition, i guess.

the kids saw my suitcase, and squealed. and then tried to lift it.
being 6 and 7, they couldn't even lift it off the ground.
and i couldn't really be bothered to wait for them to give up so i just gave them a candycane each. so that they would be occupied with that and leave me alone.

so i took my suitcase and made my way up the stairs.

then, they saw me struggling up the stairs.

"hey!! lizzie can carry the suitcase with one hand!!"
"wow! lizzie's strong!"
"when i grow up i want to be like lizzie!!!"

if i had a chance, i would have just puked right there.

but then i realized then when she said "when i grow up i want to be like lizzie", she could have been refering to lizzie mcguire. the character hilary duff plays on tv.

but it still didn't explain why they called *me* lizzie.

on the way down the stairs, the only similarity i could figure out was that anjali ended with li, and lizzie begun with li. and that we were of the same age group.

later i asked them, and they said i had lizzie's hair - "straight on top and curly at the bottom."

and that apparently i "looked and talked like lizzie."

i don't know whether that was supposed to be a compliment or an insult.

and the last time i checked, hilary duff had bone straight hair.

2 days later, they had started calling the dog kate.
i pointed out that the dog was male, but it didn't really seem to matter to them.

and the reason for calling the dog kate?

"lizzie doesn't like kate. anjali doesn't like the dog. so we called the dog kate."

it's amazing how simple things are for them.

i have to give it to them that they were observant enough to notice that i'm not much of an animal lover. well at least not for that salivary white furball.

that's just one set of cousins.

remember the tall freaks who call me shortie?

they came on day #2.
here's the intersting bit.
for some reason, they were being nice to me.

nice meaning that they didn't call me shortie, and didn't shove their armpits into my face.

maybe it was because the adults were around.

but usually it means that they need a favour.

him: hey, i need to ask you something.
me: *continues watching tv.* what?
him: well...i need your help.
me: *still has my eyes glued on the tv.* i'm not doing your homework for you again.
him: no...not that.
me: *still hasn't looked away from the google box.* then what?
him: well...um..you're a girl right?
me: *finally looks away from the tv, and stares at him with the what-are-you-an-idiot? kind of look* oh.. wait.. i don't know.. let me check.. *looks under blouse* oh.. i guess i am.
him: *returns the what-an-idiot look* so you know how girls think right?
me: my dear, you are asking the girl who has spent her entire life in a female dominated environment. i have *never* been to a school with boys before. nor do i have any brothers. which gender do you think i would think like?
him: a girl?
me: *claps hands wildly* WOW. CORRECT.

[i've realized that i am especially sarcastic when it comes to them.]

him: so..ok..as a girl.. do you think i'm attractive?

[at this point i was about to burst into laughter and damage his ego forever, but since i am a nice cousin...]

me: you're my cousin. it's a void question.
him: ok. if i wasn't your cousin.
me: i don't go for younger men.
him: just answer me.
me: *deliberates and tries looking for a tactful answer* um...you're tall. that's good. a lot of girls like their guys tall. so you have the next few years to make use of it until you become a giraffe like your other cousin.
him: *stares*..ok.
me: you've got pretty good features. at least above average. no acne to speak of. a decent haircut, although you should try doing something with it, you've had it since we were 9. angular jaw. maybe some girls would like that. and you're sporty and you've got a good build. without going overboard. nice nails. it's good that you've stopped biting them, although they're awfully dirty.
him: *stares blankly*
me: am i talking to fast for your brain to catch up?
him: yes...i mean...no...i mean...man...
me: but your dress sense is a little off. i'm assuming the function is black tie?
him: i don't own a black tie.
me: you don't own any tie. not even a bow tie.
him: so why did you ask?
me: i didn't ask if you had a black tie, i'm asking if the dress code was black tie.
him: *continues staring*
me: *makes the aprostophe marks with my fingers and talk really slowly* black...tie..?
him: the teacher asked us to be formal.
me: there you go. just don't make a fool ot of yourself.
him: i don't.
me: *laughs* listen up, dude. i'm the closest you have to a sister. i know all of your crap. how you sucked your thumb until you were 11, how you tried to push me into a drain after you ound out that your mom prefered a girl, and in fact simply wanted me, the time we went to the zoo and tried to push me into the lion cage.. the time you..
him: i get it. so what's your point?
me: what's your question?
him: so i'm attractive, right?
me: i never said that.
him: so i'm not?
me: i didn't say that either.
him: so what am i?
me: *decides to avoid the question by giving a nice long philosophical talk about beauty being in the eyes of the beholder and how some girl's prince charming would be another's rowan atkinsn.* why are you asking me this anyway?
him: i don't have a date for my function.
me: so?
him: can you be my date?

haha.
that was the big bombshell.

i had to bite my lips really hard to stop laughing. i mean, how pathetic can you get to invite your older cousin, from singapore?

didn't give him an answer.
it would be a no.
but i guessed that i'll just get someone else to tell him that.

so, decide to do some investigating.
there is no possible way he could be such a loser that he had to take me.

here's the background i got from his brother.
he has some dance/prom or something and needs a date. he likes this girl, so didn't bother to ask anyone else. and he didn't have the guts to ask her in the end so he had no date. last choice? his *shortie" cousin.

later we went to his school to pick him up, and his brother pointed out the girl, so i was kind of bored so i went to the girl and asked her to ask him out.

and she did.

my cousin finally got his dream girl to actually ask *him* out thanks to me.

from now on, he is fully indebted.

although there was some form of personal gain, since
a) there was no way that i would be going with him.
b) i would have to prolong my trip in malaysia.
c) i would have had nothing nice to wear, anyway.

and the nonsense didn't end just there. his mother, my aunt figured out that he didn't know how to dance and demanded that i should teach him.

i told her that i can only dance in clubs and know nothing about social dances. but she didn't seem to listen.

later i found myself trying to teach him [and myself] how to dance using vague memories of what i watch in tv.

and here i am, so proud of myself. and with a feeling that they would do anything for me in return.

day #3. they promised to take me to times square.
called them up, cause they were late.
apparently they needed a raincheck.

why?

cause britney spears was on tv.

and they didn't know how to operate the vcr to record it.

hmph.

so they bailed on me.

ingrates.

apparently "oh. you're my nicest cousin and all, but if given a choice betwee living with either you or britney spears forever, i'd choose britney spears."

i told him britney spears would probably never give him a second glance.

he said that he was atleast allowed to dream.


holiday recap:

amount of money spent: Rm60
- calamine lotion for the many mosquito bites.
- a toothbrush.
- gwen's present.

amount of money earned: RM 500
- pity money from dad.
- doing 5 years worth of accounts in 2 days.

amount of clothes worn: 50% of suitcase.
[the remainder 50% were considered too "indecent" for malaysia.]

number of movies watched: 8
- tomb raider 1
- a beautiful mind
- gattaca
- get a clue
- big fat liar
- matilda
- ocean's eleven
- riverdance, the performance.

number of days spent travelling: 2
- sunday
- thursday

number of days spent in malaysia: 5