yes. i know, i am back.

a rather uneventful holiday. and the very first holiday where i actually *earned* more money then i spent.

spent most of my time lounging in my grandparents' house in front of the tv or lounging in my dad's hotel room in the nice bathtub.

but i guess it makes for a interesting blog read.

wrote some stuff down so that i would blog about it later, an idea borrowed from sarah lim.

day #1:
arrive at the grandparents'.
they have a new dog.
a small white one.
that jumps on me and drools all over.
and gets white fur on my jeans.
despite the fact that it has never met me before.

and met the grandparents.
man, they kiss a lot.
which now is kind of weird since i am a whole "shoulders and head taller" than my grandmother so now i have to stoop down.

which also ended up in my nike bag and shoe bag falling off my shoulder only to be picked up by my meddlesome cousins.

they saw me and screamed "LIZZIE!!!" and then each of them grabbed onto each of my legs. and refuse to let go.

they've got a really good grip.

so i had to somehow make my way around the house, with two kids attached to my legs, and wheeling my suitcase behind me.

and then got plumetted by kisses by everyone.

family tradition, i guess.

the kids saw my suitcase, and squealed. and then tried to lift it.
being 6 and 7, they couldn't even lift it off the ground.
and i couldn't really be bothered to wait for them to give up so i just gave them a candycane each. so that they would be occupied with that and leave me alone.

so i took my suitcase and made my way up the stairs.

then, they saw me struggling up the stairs.

"hey!! lizzie can carry the suitcase with one hand!!"
"wow! lizzie's strong!"
"when i grow up i want to be like lizzie!!!"

if i had a chance, i would have just puked right there.

but then i realized then when she said "when i grow up i want to be like lizzie", she could have been refering to lizzie mcguire. the character hilary duff plays on tv.

but it still didn't explain why they called *me* lizzie.

on the way down the stairs, the only similarity i could figure out was that anjali ended with li, and lizzie begun with li. and that we were of the same age group.

later i asked them, and they said i had lizzie's hair - "straight on top and curly at the bottom."

and that apparently i "looked and talked like lizzie."

i don't know whether that was supposed to be a compliment or an insult.

and the last time i checked, hilary duff had bone straight hair.

2 days later, they had started calling the dog kate.
i pointed out that the dog was male, but it didn't really seem to matter to them.

and the reason for calling the dog kate?

"lizzie doesn't like kate. anjali doesn't like the dog. so we called the dog kate."

it's amazing how simple things are for them.

i have to give it to them that they were observant enough to notice that i'm not much of an animal lover. well at least not for that salivary white furball.

that's just one set of cousins.

remember the tall freaks who call me shortie?

they came on day #2.
here's the intersting bit.
for some reason, they were being nice to me.

nice meaning that they didn't call me shortie, and didn't shove their armpits into my face.

maybe it was because the adults were around.

but usually it means that they need a favour.

him: hey, i need to ask you something.
me: *continues watching tv.* what?
him: well...i need your help.
me: *still has my eyes glued on the tv.* i'm not doing your homework for you again.
him: no...not that.
me: *still hasn't looked away from the google box.* then what?
him: well...um..you're a girl right?
me: *finally looks away from the tv, and stares at him with the what-are-you-an-idiot? kind of look* oh.. wait.. i don't know.. let me check.. *looks under blouse* oh.. i guess i am.
him: *returns the what-an-idiot look* so you know how girls think right?
me: my dear, you are asking the girl who has spent her entire life in a female dominated environment. i have *never* been to a school with boys before. nor do i have any brothers. which gender do you think i would think like?
him: a girl?
me: *claps hands wildly* WOW. CORRECT.

[i've realized that i am especially sarcastic when it comes to them.]

him: so..ok..as a girl.. do you think i'm attractive?

[at this point i was about to burst into laughter and damage his ego forever, but since i am a nice cousin...]

me: you're my cousin. it's a void question.
him: ok. if i wasn't your cousin.
me: i don't go for younger men.
him: just answer me.
me: *deliberates and tries looking for a tactful answer* um...you're tall. that's good. a lot of girls like their guys tall. so you have the next few years to make use of it until you become a giraffe like your other cousin.
him: *stares*..ok.
me: you've got pretty good features. at least above average. no acne to speak of. a decent haircut, although you should try doing something with it, you've had it since we were 9. angular jaw. maybe some girls would like that. and you're sporty and you've got a good build. without going overboard. nice nails. it's good that you've stopped biting them, although they're awfully dirty.
him: *stares blankly*
me: am i talking to fast for your brain to catch up?
him: yes...i mean...no...i mean...man...
me: but your dress sense is a little off. i'm assuming the function is black tie?
him: i don't own a black tie.
me: you don't own any tie. not even a bow tie.
him: so why did you ask?
me: i didn't ask if you had a black tie, i'm asking if the dress code was black tie.
him: *continues staring*
me: *makes the aprostophe marks with my fingers and talk really slowly* black...tie..?
him: the teacher asked us to be formal.
me: there you go. just don't make a fool ot of yourself.
him: i don't.
me: *laughs* listen up, dude. i'm the closest you have to a sister. i know all of your crap. how you sucked your thumb until you were 11, how you tried to push me into a drain after you ound out that your mom prefered a girl, and in fact simply wanted me, the time we went to the zoo and tried to push me into the lion cage.. the time you..
him: i get it. so what's your point?
me: what's your question?
him: so i'm attractive, right?
me: i never said that.
him: so i'm not?
me: i didn't say that either.
him: so what am i?
me: *decides to avoid the question by giving a nice long philosophical talk about beauty being in the eyes of the beholder and how some girl's prince charming would be another's rowan atkinsn.* why are you asking me this anyway?
him: i don't have a date for my function.
me: so?
him: can you be my date?

haha.
that was the big bombshell.

i had to bite my lips really hard to stop laughing. i mean, how pathetic can you get to invite your older cousin, from singapore?

didn't give him an answer.
it would be a no.
but i guessed that i'll just get someone else to tell him that.

so, decide to do some investigating.
there is no possible way he could be such a loser that he had to take me.

here's the background i got from his brother.
he has some dance/prom or something and needs a date. he likes this girl, so didn't bother to ask anyone else. and he didn't have the guts to ask her in the end so he had no date. last choice? his *shortie" cousin.

later we went to his school to pick him up, and his brother pointed out the girl, so i was kind of bored so i went to the girl and asked her to ask him out.

and she did.

my cousin finally got his dream girl to actually ask *him* out thanks to me.

from now on, he is fully indebted.

although there was some form of personal gain, since
a) there was no way that i would be going with him.
b) i would have to prolong my trip in malaysia.
c) i would have had nothing nice to wear, anyway.

and the nonsense didn't end just there. his mother, my aunt figured out that he didn't know how to dance and demanded that i should teach him.

i told her that i can only dance in clubs and know nothing about social dances. but she didn't seem to listen.

later i found myself trying to teach him [and myself] how to dance using vague memories of what i watch in tv.

and here i am, so proud of myself. and with a feeling that they would do anything for me in return.

day #3. they promised to take me to times square.
called them up, cause they were late.
apparently they needed a raincheck.

why?

cause britney spears was on tv.

and they didn't know how to operate the vcr to record it.

hmph.

so they bailed on me.

ingrates.

apparently "oh. you're my nicest cousin and all, but if given a choice betwee living with either you or britney spears forever, i'd choose britney spears."

i told him britney spears would probably never give him a second glance.

he said that he was atleast allowed to dream.


holiday recap:

amount of money spent: Rm60
- calamine lotion for the many mosquito bites.
- a toothbrush.
- gwen's present.

amount of money earned: RM 500
- pity money from dad.
- doing 5 years worth of accounts in 2 days.

amount of clothes worn: 50% of suitcase.
[the remainder 50% were considered too "indecent" for malaysia.]

number of movies watched: 8
- tomb raider 1
- a beautiful mind
- gattaca
- get a clue
- big fat liar
- matilda
- ocean's eleven
- riverdance, the performance.

number of days spent travelling: 2
- sunday
- thursday

number of days spent in malaysia: 5

threw a huge tantrum during dinner.
maybe if i keep this up i can miss the whole trip to malaysia.

then i can escape from meeting my grandparents again.

breaking news: dad decided to give johor a miss since my mother hates the company of her sister-in-law.

so now, we have to tolerate one *long* ride all the way to kuala lumpur.

change of plans.
leaving for malaysia tomorrow, instead.

so the only function that i thought might be worth going to malaysia for, will be finished by the time i arrive.

life would be so much easier if my parents would actually *tell* me that they have postponed the trip instead of waiting for me to ask them, and then say, "oh. no one told you?"

*rolls eyes*

there are two of them. and since they are both too absorbed in their own lives to tell me anything, they somehow assume that i am able to mind read.

and i am still waiting for the *someone* to tell me these things. and maybe in advance too, so that i would not have to starve myself the day before so that my grandmother would cease her nagging of me having to "look my best at this age so that i can find a good husband."

i find in funny that from her time, until now, the stick figure woman is still considered to be the most beautiful of all.

so now i have one whole day to repack my luggage.
take out all the nice clothes that i wanted to wear tonight.

and replace it all with black.

supposedly black makes one look slimmer.

i will resort to anything to get that nag off my back.

oh and now i have time to take off my nailpolish.

in 1999, i turned up with metallic blue, and she said it looked like my nails had died and became discoloured.

4 pairs of jeans take up the entire lower portion of my luggage.
if anyone is willing to help me pack anytime today, or tonight
you are welcome to come over.

leaving for malaysia to have a really bad holiday in a few hours.

my 15 year old, 178cm cousins who call me shortie, despite the fact that i am the tallest female cousin they have, eventhough i am one of the youngest.

my biased grandparents. who still believe that all girls should do is look after the house, and are horribly worried that i am unable to cook, clean or take care of anyone, apart from myself.

[i can operate the washing machine, dryer, dishwasher, microwave oven, gas stove, steamer, (this is thanks to gwen who gave me instructions on how to steam siewmai at home through the phone) blender, computer, handphone, printer, scanner, camera, television vcr and the phone.. so basically, in this milenium, i can easily qualify as being self sufficient.]

but they are far from contented as they feel that the washboard, wooden stove and knives should be the acumen of all women.

and i, being myself, would rather just ignore their nagging every visit rather than pick up a broom. or a mop. or the chopping board.

and shall pretend that i don't know the fact that they are angry at me for being born female. [since according to some form of their warped numerology, if i had been born a male, all the world's joy and prosperity would fall upon the both of them.]

well, now they are stuck with a sulky, monosyllabic teenager, who usually glares at them when they throw me an insult.

when i was still a young and fiesty kid, i would yell back. which is probably the reason why they think i am such a stuck up kid now.

my father would be in kuala lumpur for business. so naturally, he has his own hotel room. he could have turned it down, but..

dad: give up my hotel room? give up the chance to let your mother stay with her parents and be happy with me, and still be able to maintain my composure, by being away from them? no way.
me: WHAT ABOUT ME?! I HATE MY GRANDPARENTS.
dad: no, no. you cannot say that you hate them. they are your family, anyway.
me: they are yours too.
dad: no. they are only my in-laws because i married your mother. you, are the one who is related to them.
me: fine. then why are they so mean to me?
dad: oh. they are old. old people are like that.
me: mean and surly to me?
dad: ..no.
me: then explain why they are nice to all the others. they are nice to geetha since she is their oldest grandchild. and they are nice to all the boys. and the babies. why are they so mean to me? me, specifically. why just me?
dad: (knows what i am saying is true, but knows that if he agrees, i would use this as an excuse to avoid them forever.) they are old. you have to see them as much as you can.
me: this coming from the man whose parents i have seen twice in my life.
mom: (overhearing the conversation) so go live with your other grandmother then!

this is the time where my sister and i have learnt how to shut up.

my mother hates her mother-in-law.
she hated her father-in-law too. but he died.
any mention of her, meant that she was really angry.

my dad does not particularly like his in laws either.
but he learns to live with them.
something that i desperately need to master.

but i was suprised my mother was angry, since she was basically the one who confirmed that her parents did not particularly like me.

oh well.
both of our parents hate their in laws.
yet always seem to pretend that they find them all right when they meet them.
and then come back home and become all grumpy.

like germany and russia.
they both hate each other but pretend to be friends.

this might have a detrimental affect on gee and myself.

all the relatives we have keep pressuring her to get married. because when they were 26, they were already married.

they come and interrogate me too.

but i, being the protective younger sister, am usually the one who politely tells them to lay off, pointing out the fact that she has an extremely demanding job, and besides, our mother got married at 26 too, so they cannot exactly call gee old.

but we both know the real reason.

"you marry the family."

this was something our mother drilled into our heads since we were born.
her motto, of sorts, when it comes to discussing relationships.

after all, according to her, "i could have married the minister's son. but i chose your father. your father is a wonderful man, but it was a horrible mistake since i ended up with the bitch as my mother-in-law."

that's how she refers to her.
the bitch.

and that is why, neither of us is ever going to get married.

well, gee can speak for herself,
but *i* am never going to get married.

unless i find a husband who would agree with me that we would live far away from the in-laws. and never have to visit them unless absolutely neccessary.

back to the main point.

my mom would be staying with her parents in their house.
so i am obliged to too. since they are my grandparents.

but my lucky dad gets his own hotel room.

so i plan to strike a deal with them in the car on the way there.

if i get insulted 3 times in the first hour there, dad can scoot over and make way for me in his room.

which seems reasonable.
and likely to work.

since these are the grandparents who gave me RM5 for deepavali and RM 200 to my cousin, because he was a boy, and i had "no need for money."

yeah. right.

my then 14 year old cousin needed money to buy more action figures.

i, however, "do not need money". because i am a girl, after all, and perhaps in their warped logic, there is no need for girls to have money as they should spend all their time looking after the house, learning how to be a good wife. which is free.

so in the mean time, you, my dear reader get to look at a new template.
and this rather disgruntled post.

yes, i know, the old one lasted 4 days.

i just have slight add.

and besides, people were saying that i am unable to do a simple layout.

so here it is.

a nice simple layout.

3 font colours. [blue, brown and black.]

and just one image.

and in white. a minimalist colour.

so have fun staring at fragment. version 13.1
until i return.

which would be on thursday night. or maybe friday night, since next friday i will be at the alliance, acting in some almost zero budget short french movie.

or maybe earlier if i can bribe one of my cousins to let me use his computer.

whatever it is, i need to brush up on my pronunciation.

i'm getting worried about crescent.

not that i should, anyway.

not willing to part with the money i saved to acknowledge my alumni invitation.
[yes, i am a cheapskate.]
so i guess, i probably will not join the alumni until i stop being a cheapskate.

but here's the main point.

crescent has always been a funky place.
since i entered in sec one.

everyone took care of each other.
we were family.
we were comfortable with each other.

so much that we could just strip in class and walk around in our underwear and no other classmate would bother looking, since we lazy girls feel that it is way too much of a hassle to go walk up to the toilet and wait just to have privacy.

so screw privacy.

and we, the class of 2003, will no longer be here.

we, the class of 2003 who managed to "gain the respect of the seniors since sec 1", mainly because we were "cool".

we were the the first and only batch in crescent history to go under a "mass punishment". for "mass bullying".

which i, till today, don't understand why.

so what if the entire level "bullied" one girl?
we didn't hit her.
we didn't even touch her.

"boys bully using their fists. and it's the enemies who they do it to. girls go it by social exclusion, taunting, and literally making someone feel like a loser. and usually it is done by a friend. it is more of a psychological form of bullying. and the scars grow much deeper."

pfft.

the scars don't grow much deeper.
there weren't ANY scars.

and she might not have even found out, if the school did not investigate further into the matter.

she would have just thought that we were doing what we were pretending to do.

right?

but that's not the point.

we had our share of punishments.
but we pulled through.
always.

and maybe *some* teachers called us troublemakers.

the "conterversial batch".

so what if it was provocative?
we only did the lady marmalade dance one.

and thankfully, vsiah does not know about our "css" nickname in un.

otherwise i would probably be toast.

we are the batch that produced singapore's best goalkeeper. [june, i don't know whether you read this, but i'm proud of you girl. how many people can say they used to sit diagonally opposite singapore's best goalkeeper?]

but then, i am not exactly suprised since hockey has always been one of our finest.

the only batch that raised the highest amount of money for crescent history.

the only batch that could ooze attitude, and still manage to keep their grades.

we are not going to let the school down.
we have done our best.
we will make it.

and now, things have changed.

the sec 3s are becoming sec 4s.

not that i have anyhing against them personally, but somehow i don't know whether they will be able to keep the torch burning.

i am supposed to go back next year to train the new sec 4s, for the probably non-existent crezmun.

and choose the next captain.

the sec 3s, are either the really cool ones, the smart ones, or the ones that always manage to pull through.

unfortunately, i have this worry that the "really cool" ones, might not be able to pull through.

unlike how we did.

sure, we were wild, but we had some interest in our future.

and then the sec 1s and 2s.

who, frankly, have no hope at all.

crescent is probably going to turn into another geek girl school by 2006.
like rgs. or cedar.

at least scgs and tk have some form of life.

we will probably be the school that studies our butts off. win all the it competitions. get all the scholars.

to you:
you almost cried?
haha. i cried. while typing. and then backspacing. and then typing again.

and all the while, i was always the less emotional one.

blame the estrogen powered education for turning me into an amazon.

[oh man, it is going to be hard going to a co-ed jc after spending my entire life in a girls' school.]

i am glad that you actually invited me over.
tuesday was one of the more productive days of this time.

and you are right. we probably will be going our separate ways this time.
and i we both know that i am not good at goodbyes.

i never really got to say goodbye to you that time.
i guess i was avoiding it.

so i have always seen it as a "see you later" rather than a final goodbye.

which should be the case, since i have never had the chance to play host.

[by the way, i tried to make this post as emotionless as possible so we both escape from bawling. and call me sometime soon ok?]

quiz courtesy of mr li guangsheng. ;)

[my name is]: anjali.
[in the morning i am]: asleep. i should be awake by 2pm.
[all i need is]: money.
[i'm afraid of]: failure.
[i dream about]: everyday situations.

favourites
[colour]: can't pick one.
[number]: 7. duh.
[subject]: recess.
[clothing brand]: d&g.
[shoe brand]: nike. but i can only wear the men's series, since they don't have the women's series in size 9 here in singapore.
[sport to play]: air hockey.
[drink]: water.
[animal]: eagle.
[holiday]: christmas.
[favourite line from a movie]: subject to change.
[band]: right now am in love with the chilli peppers.

who..
[makes you laugh the most]: mr bean.
[makes you smile]: lots of people.
[gives you a funny feeling when you see them]: that weird person we saw at the orchard station who begged us for money. she was simply disgusting.
[has a crush on you]: no idea.
[easiest to talk to]: gwen. somehow. i have no idea why.

do you ever..
[sit on the internet all day waiting for someone special to i.m. you?]: ...that is *such* a loser thing to do.
[save aol/aim conversations]: no.
[wish you were a member of the opposite sex]: no. i am your typical girly girl. and am loving every part of it.
[cry because of someone saying something to you]: no.

have you ever..
[fallen for your best friend]: no.
[been rejected]: no.
[rejected someone]: i told him i was gay to get him off my back.
[used someone]: maybe.
[been cheated on]: no.
[done something you regret]: sometimes.

who was the last person
[you talked to on the phone]: my sister.
[hugged]: i totally cannot remember.
[you instant messaged]: jeanne.
[you laughed with]: shan.

do you / are you
[smoke cigarettes]: no.
[obsessive]: compulsive.
[could you live without the computer]: my computer, yes. no computers of any kind at all, then no.
[how many peeps are on your buddylist]: 87.
[what's your favorite food]: oriental's steamed seabass. or siewmai. or chocolate mousse.
[fruit]: rambutans.
[drink alcohol]: sometimes. don't particularly like it.
[like watching sunrises or sunset]: yes. something calming about it.
[what hurts the most]: pain?
[trust others way too easily]: no.

number..
[of times u have had your heart broken]: 0
[of hearts u have broken]: crushed a lot of people's hearts, but not in relationship wise.
[of continents I have lived in]: 3.
[of drugs taken illegally]: 0.
[of tight friends]: really tight? 3?
[of cds that i own]: all around. not sure.
[of scars on my body]: lots. most prominent being the teeth marks on my right forearm, thanks to my cousin when i was 3. don't worry though, he has three permanent scratch marks on his cheek thanks to me.
[of things in my past that I regret]: don't want to recall.
pick one.. [marry perfect friend or perfect lover]: a perfect lover should be a perfect friend too, right?
[cats or dogs]: neither. not a big fan of animals.
[1 or 2 pillows]: 2.
[with or without ice cubes]: depends on the drink. i like my water cold, without cubes.
[top or bottom]: of what?
[winter / spring / summer / fall]: autumn.
[night or day]: night.
[gloves or mittens]: gloves.
[dressed or undressed]: at home i'm usually half-dressed. singapore's way too hot to be wearing jeans every second.
[bunk or water bed]: water bed.
[mtv or vh1]: vh1. they host the vogue fashion awards.
[ocean or pool]: ocean.
[showers or baths]: showers. in a bath tub, you just... sit there.
[love or lust]: i consider them to be the same thing.
[silver or gold]: white gold.
[diamonds or pearls]: diamonds are a girl's best friend, honey.

if you could..
[move anywhere]: here's fine. just need to find my own apartment. near enough my parents to use the washing machine and dryer.
[meet one famous person]: marilyn monroe.
[live with one person the rest of your life]: my sis. since she always gives me whatever i want and pays for everything. and has great dress sense.
[name one thing you love]: life. people take things too seriously. they should be thankful for what they have. the ability to just live, knowing that each day is a new hope.
[name one thing that embarrasses you:]: my past.

lastly
[do you like school]: yes. and i will miss it lots.
[do you like to talk on the telephone]: rather do it face to face.
[do you like to dance]: yes. of course.
[do you sing in the shower]: yes.
[do you think cheerleading is a sport]: since dance is, why not cheerleading?
[what's on your ceiling]: the light?
[what's the hardest thing about growing up]: losing all the memories. being forced to become "mature". and having to be judged by society as an adult.

television advertisement narrator: do you have the ixus factor?
me: *screams loudly* I DOOOO....

my *new* favourite toy.
the canon digital ixus i.

these are the toys adults play with when they are considered too old by society to play with action figures.

and then there are the social rebels.

but sometimes it is just too much of a hassle to rebel against everything every time.

why do handphones sell so well?
it's the grown up version of the new toy fad.
same thing goes with digital cameras.
and computers.

and i am not afraid to admit it.

after all, i still have the kid in me.

and this little girl *loves* her new camera.

visited an old friend today.

it is comforting to know that some things just don't change.

even after 6 years.

it's amazing how you can see someone every day.
walk past each other in the corridor.

a slight brief smile.

and then hurry along again.

i remember the words she said in p6...

"we are going to be separated...forever.. i'm going to crescent... you're probably going to cedar."
"maybe i'll go to crescent too."
"it's your 5th choice."
"it's still a choice."

and i ended up in crescent.

my 5th choice.

and it still is funny how fate twists things around.

we both get into crescent.
and we chose to spend the next four years too busy with our own social lives to actually sit down and talk.

and it is only at the end of these four years. *after* the whole secondary life of school has ended, that we finally sit down to have another long talk.

it is funny how different things were in school.

i had my class
she had hers.

i had my group.
she had hers.

i had my interests.
and she had hers.

today was spent reminiscing.

suprisingly i have few memories of raffles.

i remember the people.

i have forgotten everything else.
the actual time spent in classrooms..the lessons..the teachers..

all a blank.

hopefully things will be different for crescent.

one major difference is that now i'm four years older.
and more mature.

hopefully.

these four years have changed me a whole lot.

i learnt that maybe sometimes, the boys just weren't worth it.
that it was ok to cry.
and that the little things are the ones that matter.

6 years ago, her mother would come after lunch.
and offer us jelly.

and i, being the guest, would always get to pick first.

and i always picked green apple.

6 years. and today, i still find solace in eating that overly sweetened, wobbly, transparent green mass with a plastic spoon.

and she was the first person who ever said that she was proud of me.

it made me realise
that for these 6 years, we might have not been as close as we were.
after all, we were still young.
and despite the hurried smiles we exchanged in the corridors.
we would always watch out for each other.

unconsciously.

"because that's what friends are for."

6 years ago, we would have never guessed that we would turn out this way.

in 6 years time, i would probably be saying the exact same thing.

some people are the ones you'll remember.

suprisingly they will not be the ones who spent the most time with.
or the people who made you "popular"
or the people you made "popular"
or the ones who spent the most time with.

it's the ones you connected with.

despite the differences.

you can still talk.
and connect.

the 'cool' gang will go their separate ways.
and popularity would no longer be permanent.
once you realise that it takes too damn much to maintain.

but with the select few,
even after all the years..
things will never change.

newsflash: pea, jean, sarah AND EVEN gwen and myself have *finally* come to a consensus on one statement.

this guy is *way* hot.

although gwen and i argue that he's even cuter with his glasses on. sort of like a smart, yet good-looking, hot guy look.

haha. that's one thing cool about hanging out, and chilling with a group of girls.

we get to put our feet up in the cinema theatre. and no one says anything.
and we get to wait for the credits to roll so we find out who the "hottie playing karl" really is.

*credits roll*
me: OI. look for that carl's real name...
sarah and gwen: OK!
jean: what's his name again?
me: carl.
sarah: there's SARAH!
gwen: but no carl..
me: *finally spots it. karl. with a k. KARL!....RODRIGO SANTORO..

and the next 15 seconds were spent as five girls saying nothing but the words "rodrigo santoro"

even after the movie ended and we left the theatre, and were on the bus on the way home, gwen and i were still reminiscing over that guy.

haha.

guess we're the typical teenage infatuated girls, huh?

oh well. might as well be the typical teenage girl, while i still can.

as long as i don't turn up like sarah with her orlando, i should be fine.

actually, come to think of it, love actually was kind of a crap movie.
maybe 3 and a half stars at the most. [and i'm being generous with the half]

with hugh grant playing a bachelor version of tony blair and bily bob thorton playing a playboy version of bush... and then blair waging war on bush.. right to his face after he made out with his coffee girl.. just as revenge..

things become a little incredulous.

and hugh grant sucks big time as the british prime minister.

the directors were stupid in giving *that* story the most screen time.

the movie's saving grace was probably the one with liam neeson and his son. they should have turned that whole thing into a movie.

[and maybe a little rodrigo in here and there to spruce things up.. ;) ]

another problem is that with 10 whole stories running at simultaneously, some story endings tend to get left behind.

but in the end, it's pretty much what you would expect of your typical sappy, christmas-y movie, sprinked with lots of saccharine sweet romance.

and now everyone wants to go to london for christmas.

typical.

now i understand what that "x" person was saying.

too bad anyway, right?

can't be bothered to argue again, anyway.

i'm not some debator.

i should have taken up my dad's offer to go to london, and braved the cold.

then maybe i wouldn't have to waste my time mooching around the house.

and could go shopping.

one thing i like about gee, is that it's rad going shopping with her. dad trusts her with *his* credit card, despite the fact that she has her own. so that means as long as something looks nice on me, it's mine. and she's a pretty good advice giver on clothes too.

upcoming major plans:

- embassy@esplanade dance party 13th dec.
- catching wild rice's cinderel-lah.
- miscellaneous shoppings and stuff to make up for the last loser week i had.

anyone who's willing to come along give me a ring.

quite an uneventful week, this week.

went for work.
asked for leave on wednesday to go for drum class.

but the problem with this kind of work is that a) it's horribly tiring. b) you get paid by the day. NOT by the number of hours i work. so all my hard work of coming real early, hasn't really done much good. c) after day 1 after already being labelled as "lazy", lost most of my interest in it anyway. d) there is NO such thing as paid leave...

so hey, stop work that day to go for drum lessons.
and then get ready to leave, and sms charmaine *outside* my house to see where to meet her, and then she tells me then that she gave me the wrong information and that class begins again next year.

so spend the whole day moping around house again.

thursday was everyone's off day from work, so spent my time mooching around and looking for nicer jobs. and attending interviews.

thursday night: decided to go swimming with this girl, so call in work telling them that i'm not coming again. so, once again, forgo pay. also cancel job searching plans with qing & co.

friday: getting ready to leave. already changed, swimsuit inside. walking around the house checking i left no lights on or anything. and then the phone rings. stand up #2 for this week.

later, french. i don't see the idea in learning how to change speech from indirect to direct and vice versa, and learning present perfect tense... i mean, as long as i can understand everything, who cares what form of verb formation i use?

"you will sound like a doofus whenever it's *your turn* to speak french."

although, that is true.

ah well.

so got stood up again.
twice this week.
which is actually *more* than a once a month idea.

but actually, it's not exactly a stand up, more like a real late call to cancel with a "i'm tired" or "i'm busy" or "i'll see you again some other time" excuse which i maybe could have turned around to suit my favour by arguing.

but what's the use? i mean, if they don't want to go out..[or in..whatever] and you force them to, then they'll be grumpy. and i don't exactly like to hang around grumpy people, so i guess i'll just leave it like that.

and maybe i could have just gone by myself.
but where's the fun in that?

anyway, went to turf city with my mom today. have decided to add "steamed seabass" to my list of favourite singaporean foods [provided that it's served hot and at the oriental or at home and is cut by someone skilful like charlotte or my mom]

helped out in the cooking.
haven't done that in a long time, since mom's pretty uptight in what she cooks and a klutz like me is simply something in her way.

sat at the informal dining table and cut watermelon pieces instead, and a few other things, then left to watch the rerun of crouching tiger, hidden dragon on axn.

[crouching tiger, hidden dragon totally loses its touch when dubbed to english.]

He showed up all wet on the rainy front step.
Wearing shrapnel in his skin.
And the war he saw lives inside him still,
It's so hard to be gentle and warm.

You look at me from across the room
You're wearing your anguish again
Believe me I know the feeling
It sucks you into the jaws of anger.
So breathe a little more deeply my love
All we have is this very moment
And I don't want to do what his father,
and his father, and his father did,
I want to be here now.

So open up your morning light,
And say a little prayer for I
You know that if we are to stay alive,
Then see the love in every eye.

I don't want to to wait for our lives to be over,
I want to know right now what will it be.
I don't want to wait for our lives to be over,
Will it be yes or will it be sorry?

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quit my job.

after working for 2 days.

my mom had the i-knew-it look on her face.

hmph.

The line between beauty and horror wears thin. Self torment creates a living grave.

after spending dance night grinding next to pea, and shaking my booty, she comes up with the conclusion that i might have potential as a "great dancer"...

haha.

thanks pea.

but i'm pretty sure that i'll probably keep my 'grindings' to strictly these amazon parties.
[which probably wouldn't happen again soon thanks to the fact that i'll be in jc...]

hmm...btw, pea.. we need to go tan the skin around our new eyebrows... or at least *i* need to...

they're a whole 3 shades lighter than my face.

it's one thing when you party the night away and finally wind down by 3.30am and wake up (by our own bodyclock) at 7.30am to party some more at the beach.

it's a totally different thing, when the next day, you party until 3.30am again and this time wake up to the screeching cell phone alarm (since the normal one's been smashed to pieces for being too loud by a rather irritated, groggy anjali.) and then realise...

"i have to report for work in half an hour."

*loud groaning moaning sound.*

8am to 6pm.

by the time i reached home it was 7.15pm.

stupid zulia refused to take a cab wih me and insisited that we would save money, if we walked in the rain and then froze under the freezing air con of the bus and then walked around again until we found the mrt station, and then had to be squashed by these disgusting old men. and then had to take a bus again. (i sacrificed by going the longer way so that i wouldn't have to be breathing in those disgusting old men's expired disgusting air instead all over again.)

ARGH.

worked for "dhl" today. you know, the ugly brown delivery company. they'd better be happy with those 216 candles i packed for their customers as christmas presents.

sheesh.

the days were much better last year around this time when i worked as an intern at the hospital and was paid almost double the salary and had 3 hour long lunches thanks to the supervisor.

good old days of sec 3 work experience..

maybe i can survive.

my mom's betting that i'll quit.

i'm staying on to spite her.

and my dad's just being...his weird old self..

me: I'M TIRED.
dad: why?
me: CAUSE I HAD TO GET HOME IN PEAK HOUR TRAFFIC IN PUBLIC TRANSPORT.
mom: *raises eyebrow* what's wrong with public transport? you're part of the public. deal with it.
me: IT'S THE CROWDED HOUR...IT'S DISGUSTING... besides, you two don't know anything. you both have your own cars which you always use.

(piece of info: daddy dearest has been in an mrt *twice* and *NEVER* on a public bus *EVER* since we came to singapore when i was 6.. talk abut the luxuries of having his own car..)

me: why can't we get a driver..
dad: cause drivers cost money. besides, we're not that rich. nor are we helpless. your mother and i are capable adults, who are able to drive our own cars. why do we need a driver to wheel us around when we are fully capable of wheeling ourselves around? (fyi, same speech my mom used when my dad asked why we can't have a maid. only difference? she added in the part about her not willing to allow "slavery")

back to the convo..
me: FOR ME.
dad: wait till your18.
mom: and while you're at it, work a little harder, maybe you'll save up enough money to buy your own small car.
me: THAT WILL TAKE FOREVER.
mom: oh well, guess you'll just have to learn how to cycle then, won't you.
me: THIS IS NOT THE KAMPONG.
dad: you work?
me: YEAH, I WORK, WHAT DO YOU THINK I'VE BEEN DOING TODAY?
dad: oh. i thought you kayaked up to the palawan islands again. anyway, why do you want to work? we provide *everythign* you need.. food..shelter..schooling... AND A TV.
me: which i share with the entire family..in the living room.
dad: how much are you getting? i tell you what, from now on, i will pay you *exactly* what your employer does. how about that?
me: no.

which was a stupid move on my part.
i would have gotten paid, for sitting around the house...
doing nothing.

which i so hotheadedly refused.

hmm..but maybe he doesn't understand. it's just boring sitting at home dong nothing. it's not exactly the work. it's the challenge.

that, by the way is the noble answer.

the honest answer?

i just want to get away from the house. there's no one there except me anway.

oh, and by the way, i didn't kayak up to the palawan islands.

i want to go there, and then hire a kayak and then kayak around.