blabber of the day:

all the mayonaise, egg, lunsheon meat and pizza has messed up my brain.

school ended today.
pea, gwen and i slacked for another one hour in the classroom and then trudged home.

pea: are you going to stay here?
me: anything. i've got french in 2 hours. i can stay here, and go straight, or go home and snooze. so shall we go home now?
pea: stay here la.
gwen: are we going?
me: stay here la.
gwen: are you going home now?
me: pea?
pea: stay here la.
gwen: i'm leaving.
me: WAIT. you're supposed to go home with me.
gwen: then COME.
me: come, pea.
pea: stay here la.
me: gwen, stay here la.
gwen: no. i'm leaving.
me: ok, let's go pea.
pea: why can't we stay here?
me: gwen, stay here for a while la.

haha.

i've become a parrot.

---

on the bus home this thought was floating around my mind..

even thugh i keep telling myself that i'm not going to, it's no use denying that we're all going to die sooner or later.
so here's today's musing.
when i die, what will i be survived by?
family?
an anjali trust fund?
a building?
fame?

it doesn't matter. cause it's going to be determined.
what was my gift to the world?
what impact have i left on it?
what else could i have done?

and then i became depressed for the rest of the day.

for the past 29 days as a sixteen year old, i've realised that i've been really depressed ever since my birthday.

maybe it was some semi-midlife crisis.

and let's face it, i wasn't exactly very gracious to come to terms with time slipping by, and my turning 16...

sweet 16.

ha.