now that the last day of school has come to a close, i have certain bones i want to pick with some people.

let's call them a, b, c, d and e.

dear `a,
after 2 years of false pretentions, i've finally realised what kind of a person you are.
there's one thing about being nice to a person to her face and then bitching about her behind her back once.
it's something else when it lasts for 2 years.
don't try pushing the blame to someone else just to make yourself feel better.
no one can *make* you become a loser.
you just evolve into one yourself.
too bad if you feel alone.
go get that blow up doll you call a boyfriend to comfort you or something.
and from what i hear from the rest of your "best friends", they agree with me too.
so much for me "stealing your best friends" if they all wanted to kick you out anyway.

and let's not even get started with your relationship with `b.

`b told me that you were a racist, and that you warned her against me.
which i didn't really believe, since it was `b who was telling me this.
and it's common knowledge that i don't really take what `b says seriously.

and i still don't. cause i don't see how you would be able to survive being a racist in crescent without being trampled to death first.

listen up, i *never* had the intention to take you away from `b.
i've got better things to do.
besides, i never really wanted `b in my life anyway...

i just wanted `b to stop being your slave cause whenever i saw it i just needed to go to the nearest toilet to barf.

no one likes being a slave, not even `b. even if `b loves you to bits.

of course, there's `b.
frankenstein.
sarah puts it nice and simply.
"aiyah...it's very simple.. no one liked the way `a treated `b. but you were the only one who bothered to change it. then `b decided to leech on to you. and then you dug her out with a shovel.and now `a hates you for taking `b away from her."

sarah, leeching is an understatement.

day 1: to a ludicrous statement, anjali replies with ehr catch phrase.
day 2 and every day after that: `b decides to end every statement by using anjali's same catch phrase in the exact same tone. and anjali notices.

day 8: anjali goes into u2 with `b. after two hours of contemplating, she buys a navy tank.
day 14: `b appears at anjali's door, wearing the exact same tank. anjali shudders. and thinks that `b's way creepy.

day 21: anjali, `b and a mutual friend go into giodarno. anjali buys the *last* peasant top in black.
day 25: `b turns up in an identical khaki peasant top.

day 67: the *cool* gang comes along, and warns ex classmate, anjali about `b. anjali doesn't care about it and decides for some warped reason to defend `b.
day 68: `b: "isn't it f****** obvious that anjali's the one bitching about me?"

last straw.
if i actually bother to waste my energy defending you and justifying your actions, the least i expect is some gratitude. i'm not your lawyer or something.
as for style, for god's sake, FIND YOUR OWN. it's not "cool" if you just copy someone else's.

day 73625 onwards: anjali decides to ignore `b.

day 452957295: anjali smiles at `b and realizes what jean says when she means that `b's smile freaks her out.

and i don't see why i keep bothering to help thses ingrate irritatants.

same thing with `c.

today, defended her again?
why bother, right?

she wasn't ever nice to me..
let's not bother about her being polite.

i'm one of the first few people you put down.
and it seems to be pretty obvious that the things i consider to be important you deem as insignificant and useless.
in fact, it's not just myself. it's every single *normal person*

but let's simplify it to one sentence that i'm pretty sure i can not just say to you, but to everyone, a,b,c,d AND e.

what did i ever do to you for you to treat me this way?

i'm still defending you, `c. i don't know why. maybe cause i've known you the longest and i probably should for old times' sake.

but it doesn't seem worth it when everyone else points out that you never show any gratitude anyway, and even when we tell you to change, you won't.

the person you consider to be your "closest friend" is going against you.
the person who i really respect since she's the one who tolerates all of your nonsense is going against you too.
and so is the one you idolize.

just change, will you?

you can't manufacture a miracle
the silence was pitiful - that day
and love is getting too cynical
passion's just physical - these days.

you analyse everyone you meet
but get no sign - the loving kind
every night you admit defeat
and cry yourself blind.

the dj said on the radio
life should be stereo - each day

and the past that cast the unsuitable
instead of some kind of beautiful

you just couldn't wait.

all your friends think you're satisfied
but they can't see your soul.

forgot the time feeling petrified
when they lived alone.

if you can't wake up in the morning
cause your bed lies vacant at night
if you're lost, hurt, tired or lonely
can't control it - try as you might.

may you find that love that won't leave you
may you find it by the end of the day
you won't be lost, hurt, tired and lonely
something beautiful will come your way.

6 points.
perfect score.
b4 for history.
a1s for everything else.
improved 9 points from my midyear l1r5.
improved by one position in class ranking.
no more number two.
i am number one.

move over jean.

haha. just kiddin'.

so here i am. with a relatively good score.
and yet... i feel so.. indifferent.

parents didn't really seem to be quite suprised with the marks.

when i came home with 9 points before the moderation, mommy dearest reactions were as follows..

her: so what did you get?
me: oh. b4 for history. b3 from a maths and june's tamil paper. a2 from english. a1s for the res..
her: what did you get for a maths?
me: 3.
her: a 3 for a maths? after all the money we spent on you, you got a 3 for a maths?
me: i'm still in the top 3.
her: weren't you first for the midyear? what did u get for the midyear?
me: exactly the same score.
her: i don't know why you're not disappointed. you've played so much. there's no wonder why you got such a grade.
me: whatever.
her: and a 2 for english? why can't you make it a one.
me: dunno.
her: you come from an english speaking family. the only language we ever speak at home IS english. how can you not get an a1 for english?
me: dunno.
*and then the final nail on the coffin*
her: DO YOU KNOW THAT GEETHA GOT 6 FOR HER EXAMS?
me: yeah.
*like i didn't know it already.*

so somehow i always knew that unless i got a six i would be considered inferior to geetha.

and now i have a six.
called mommy dearest up again.

me: my results changed?
her: for the better or the worse?
me: better. guess how much i got?
her: 6 points?
me: yes. a perfect score! a1s for everything!!!
her: 8a1s? finally. after all we do for you.
me: um..no.. 6a1s.. one b3 for tamil and one b4 for history...
her: ...geetha got 8a1s and 1 a2 for french.

it is just never enough for her.

hmph.

anyway, congrats 4g3!

highest distinction rate for english.
most improved class overall too, i presume.

to *you*...
there's no point for me to bother about you and your insignificant opinions.
the jealousy i see in your eyes, is well... amusing.

i did relatively well.
yay for me.

you didn't.
so then work harder.

don't take it out on me.

now i laugh for considering you to be a friend.
for all the encouragement i give to you..
you return me with this?

ha.

whatever, babe.

there's no use me sticking up for you anymore.

i am *so* not concerned with you.

yeah. and the self denial's working damn fine for you too.

"i can't believe a slacker like anjali got a perfect score. she must be acting in school or something.. she must like go home and study the whole night through..."

there's no facade.

i slack like anything.

too bad for you, if you did badly.

but why must you take it out on me?

honestly, with all the different activities i'm surrounded with, and the fact that i know exactly what happens on every tv show, and you see me online ever second you'd realize.

but does your jealously blind you?

maybe the reason is because i don't spend my every second of existence plotting how to bring people down.

oh yeah. it must be damn hard.
to have a "slacker" beating you.

too bad.

suck it up, bitch.

*i* wasn't the person who caused you to fail.

hi anjali. done! :)

i never knew i was going to say this..

but why did jane's addiction have to get back together?

sigh.

pity.

i mean you'd think after a 12 year break they'd improve... a bit.

the lead singer's still gay-ish and warbling when he sings..
and they're drowning out dave navarro's guitar riffs in just because.

hello?

it's the only saving grace for them.
and they're trying to drown it out.

argh.

go back to being solo, dave.
not just carmen electra, most music fans will thank you for it.

interestingly enough you're hearing this from the kid who at age 3 was running around singing kettle whistle's whores and ain't no right even before i knew who whores were.

and getting all the lyrics wrong too.

oh well, let's just say i was a rock chick before power rangers and the spice girls took me away.

was thinking of buying their cd until i realised that it's been 12 years.
and my interests have changed..
and i only like 3 songs out of the whole cd.
but i really like those 3 songs..

the million dollar question that still remains is...

which cd is worth buying?

linkin park's hybrid theory's really old.
and last night i had it on playback 8 times.
and i'm still not sick of it.

i want a cd like that.

so here are the choices..
- strays [jane's addiction]
- justified [justin timberlake]
- meteora [linkin park]
- angels with dirty faces [sugababes]
- sweet dreams my la ex [rachel stevens] (ex s club)
- stripped [christina aguilera]
- shine [bond]
- boys of summer [ataris]
- reason [melanie c]
- clones [the neptunes]

a ecletic mix, i know.

am also thinking of a chill out jazz album.. frank sinatra like..

(no, not michael buble, thank you. yes his voice sounds exquisite, but can't be pick nicer songs?)

or go to the other extreme and get some techno freak dance album.

hmm..choices...choices...

Extraverted iNtuitive Feeling Perceiving
by Marina Margaret Heiss

Profile: ENFP
Revision: 2.4
Date of Revision: 20 Jul 03



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[The following comes partially from the archetype, but mostly from my own dealings with ENFPs.]

General: ENFPs are both "idea"-people and "people"-people, who see everyone and everything as part of an often bizarre cosmic whole. They want to both help (at least, their own definition of "help") and be liked and admired by other people, on bo th an individual and a humanitarian level. They are interested in new ideas on principle, but ultimately discard most of them for one reason or another.

Social/Personal Relationships: ENFPs have a great deal of zany charm, which can ingratiate them to the more stodgy types in spite of their unconventionality. They are outgoing, fun, and genuinely like people. As SOs/mates they are warm, affectionate (l ots of PDA), and disconcertingly spontaneous. However, attention span in relationships can be short; ENFPs are easily intrigued and distracted by new friends and acquaintances, forgetting about the older ones for long stretches at a time. Less mature E NFPs may need to feel they are the center of attention all the time, to reassure them that everyone thinks they're a wonderful and fascinating person.

ENFPs often have strong, if unconvential, convictions on various issues related to their Cosmic View. They usually try to use their social skills and contacts to persuade people gently of the rightness of these views; his sometimes results in their negle cting their nearest and dearest while flitting around trying to save the world.
Work Environment: ENFPs are pleasant, easygoing, and usually fun to work with. They come up with great ideas, and are a major asset in brainstorming sessions. Followthrough tends to be a problem, however; they tend to get bored quickly, especially if a newer, more interesting project comes along. They also tend to be procrastinators, both about meeting hard deadlines and about performing any small, uninteresting tasks that they've been assigned. ENFPs are at their most useful when working in a group w ith a J or two to take up the slack.

ENFPs hate bureaucracy, both in principle and in practice; they will always make a point of launching one of their crusades against some aspect of it.



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Extraverted iNtuitive Feeling Perceiving
by Joe Butt

ENFPs are friendly folks. Most are really enjoyable people. Some of the most soft-hearted people are ENFPs.

ENFPs have what some call a "silly switch." They can be intellectual, serious, all business for a while, but whenever they get the chance, they flip that switch and become CAPTAIN WILDCHILD, the scourge of the swimming pool, ticklers par excellence. Som etimes they may even appear intoxicated when the "switch" is flipped.

One study has shown that ENFPs are significantly overrepresented in psychodrama. Most have a natural propensity for role-playing and acting.

ENFPs like to tell funny stories, especially about their friends. This penchant may be why many are attracted to journalism. I kid one of my ENFP friends that if I want the sixth fleet to know something, I'll just tell him.

ENFPs are global learners. Close enough is satisfactory to the ENFP, which may unnerve more precise thinking types, especially with such things as piano practice ("three quarter notes or four ... what's the difference?") Amazingly, some ENFPs are adept at exacting disciplines such as mathematics.

Friends are what life is about to ENFPs, moreso even than the other NFs. They hold up their end of the relationship, sometimes being victimized by less caring individuals. ENFPs are energized by being around people. Some have real difficulty being alone , especially on a regular basis.

One ENFP colleague, a social worker, had such tremendous interpersonal skills that she put her interviewers at ease during her own job interview. She had the ability to make strangers feel like old friends.

ENFPs sometimes can be blindsided by their secondary Feeling function. Hasty decisions based on deeply felt values may boil over with unpredictable results. More than one ENFP has abruptly quit a job in such a moment.

Careers for ENFP Personality Types

ENFPs generally have the following traits:

Project-oriented
Bright and capable
Warmly, genuinely interested in people; great people skills
Extremely intuitive and perceptive about people
Able to relate to people on their own level
Service-oriented; likely to put the needs of others above their own
Future-oriented
Dislike performing routine tasks
Need approval and appreciation from others
Cooperative and friendly
Creative and energetic
Well-developed verbal and written communication skills
Natural leaders, but do not like to control people
Resist being controlled by others
Can work logically and rationally - use their intuition to understand the goal and work backwards towards it
Usually able to grasp difficult concepts and theories
ENFPs are lucky in that they're good a quite a lot of different things. An ENFP can generally achieve a good degree of success at anything which has interested them. However, ENFPs get bored rather easily and are not naturally good at following things through to completion. Accordingly, they should avoid jobs which require performing a lot of detailed, routine-oriented tasks. They will do best in professions which allow them to creatively generate new ideas and deal closely with people. They will not be happy in positions which are confining and regimented.

The following list of professions is built on our impressions of careers which would be especially suitable for an ENFP. It is meant to be a starting place, rather than an exhaustive list. There are no guarantees that any or all of the careers listed here would be appropriate for you, or that your best career match is among those listed.

Possible Career Paths for the ENFP:

Consultant
Psychologist
Entrepreneur
Actor
Teacher
Counselor
Politician / Diplomat
Writer / Journalist
Television Reporter
Computer Programmer, Systems Analyst, or Computer Specialist
Scientist
Engineer

My Bloginality is ENFP!!!
As an ENFP, you are Extraverted, iNtuative, Feeling , Perceiving.
This makes your primary focus on Extraverted Intuition with Introverted Feeling.

This is defined as a NF personality, which is part of Carl Jung's Idealist (Identity Seeking) type, and more specifically the Champions or Inspirer.

As a weblogger, you may not be consistant in posts. Although, if you find a specific focus on their journal or a very flexible manner of writing, it may be more fufilling. Because you are warm and see so many posibilities in life, you may inspire others to follow in your footsteps with a journal.

Extroverted (E) 63.16% Introverted (I) 36.84%
Intuitive (N) 54.29% Sensing (S) 45.71%
Feeling (F) 52.5% Thinking (T) 47.5%
Perceiving (P) 66.67% Judging (J) 33.33%

ENFP - "Journalist". Uncanny sense of the motivations of others. Life is an exciting drama. 5% of the total population.

Take Free Myers-Briggs Personality Test

2nd time gwen and i went to cold storage.

2nd time we went to the free sample area and ate every single piece.

and then walked home from there. with a 95 cent peach.

and met charles. gwen's favourite *friend*.

he reminds me of a frog.

some woman at cold storage was trying to sell this apple seed remover to us.

woman: come girls, do you want to buy these peaches?
me: they look yummy.
woman: come..i'll let you try.. this is the peach..
gwen: hmm..mushy.
woman: and this is the nectarine...
me: hmm..hard...
woman: so which one do you want?
me: i'll take the mushy one.
gwen: *at the same time* i'll take the hard one.
woman: why don't you share... if you buy 8 you can get an apple seed remover for FREE...
me & gwen: *exchange this raised eyebrow look*
gwen: um.. i don't think we need an apple seed remover.
woman: why? you just push it in.. and then you...
me: and we don't need 8 peaches or nectarines either. thanks anyway.

was at the village just now.

saw nicole van cylenberg again earlier.

man, she's short.

(and stumpy)

i mean, since her dad's really tall and thin and all, you'd expect her to be...well.. at least tall..

and especially after the documentary they did on her being the new up-and-coming drama star and all...

she isn't even up to my armpit in height.

and apparently the girl at coffee bean remembers my face.
and the fact that i order from the kid's menu *still* hasn't changed.
atleast this time she didn't laugh.

and this time i didn't have to spell out my name.
but then again, she spelt it as angeline.

oh well.

close enough.

piano class in 10 minutes.

still have to finish my article for the courier.
it's irritating having to write for the school mag when teachers censor your entry.

especially after the one on national day last year where dorai took every single deragotaory comment away.

joke of the day:
elaine: there's this STUPID acsi person in my chem tuition who thinks potassium iodide is purple.
sherry: isn't it brown?

blabber of the day:

all the mayonaise, egg, lunsheon meat and pizza has messed up my brain.

school ended today.
pea, gwen and i slacked for another one hour in the classroom and then trudged home.

pea: are you going to stay here?
me: anything. i've got french in 2 hours. i can stay here, and go straight, or go home and snooze. so shall we go home now?
pea: stay here la.
gwen: are we going?
me: stay here la.
gwen: are you going home now?
me: pea?
pea: stay here la.
gwen: i'm leaving.
me: WAIT. you're supposed to go home with me.
gwen: then COME.
me: come, pea.
pea: stay here la.
me: gwen, stay here la.
gwen: no. i'm leaving.
me: ok, let's go pea.
pea: why can't we stay here?
me: gwen, stay here for a while la.

haha.

i've become a parrot.

---

on the bus home this thought was floating around my mind..

even thugh i keep telling myself that i'm not going to, it's no use denying that we're all going to die sooner or later.
so here's today's musing.
when i die, what will i be survived by?
family?
an anjali trust fund?
a building?
fame?

it doesn't matter. cause it's going to be determined.
what was my gift to the world?
what impact have i left on it?
what else could i have done?

and then i became depressed for the rest of the day.

for the past 29 days as a sixteen year old, i've realised that i've been really depressed ever since my birthday.

maybe it was some semi-midlife crisis.

and let's face it, i wasn't exactly very gracious to come to terms with time slipping by, and my turning 16...

sweet 16.

ha.

jc talks by former crescentians...
hwa chong jc.

hjc girl: oh...so how was your prelims? easy or hard?
sec 4s: *stare blankly*
hjc girl #2: you guys had lady in me day yesterday right? how was it? did shisedo come again? so you all learnt to wear make up? was it fun?
unknown voice from the back: aiyah, shishedo too busy to come la. we all not like you all last year ones...
and then the publiczing began.
hjc girl #1: oh.. HWA CHONG IS THE BEST... in march we went to chaing mai.. in china.
me: *whispers to pea* isn't chiang mai in thailand?
hjc girl #2: and we're also multi racial.. we've got scholars from south east asia.. like india and china...
me: *whispers again to pea* india and china aren't in south east asia.
pea: her geography sucks. eh. don't go to hwa chong?
me: why?
pea: cause you'll end up like them.


today's movie was...thought provoking...

we watched pay it forward. which left us utterly depressed in the end.. maybe it's the ending.. maybe it's the overoad of mayonaise, pizza and keropok during the picnic...

*jon bon jovi comes on screen*
crowd: *gasps* JON BON JOVI!!!
me: *makes fun of them..* OH MY GOSH! JON BON JOVI!!! *does a melodramatic gasp*
*sarah and gwen start laughing on cue*
*jean wakes up from sleeping.*
me: eh, sarah. so sad ah, no orlando.
sarah: *sighs.* yeah. WHY IS THERE NO ORLANDO.
pea: cause he sucks.
me: WORD. but nevermind la, jon bon jovi actually has quite a nice butt.
sarah: what's a nice butt?
me: ah? erm..well shaped? and um.. turgid?
*whole row starts laughing*

*gwen and sarah leave the hall to go to the washroom*
*haley joel osment gets stabbed*
crowd: *gasps*
*jean wakes up*
jean: WHAT HAPPENED?
me: oh. the boy died.
*sarah and gwen come back in*
gwen: WHAT HAPPENED?
me: oh. the boy died.
sarah: how can he die? he's so cute?
me: dunno. anyway, he just got stabbed. maybe he'll survive. anyway, there's still half an hour left. don't think he'll die so early right?

these lame after exam activites end today.
normal lessons resume tommorow.

crap.