long time since i've blogged...hmm...

let's see... since the last time you saw me...

jane's addiction got back together...
hilary duff suddenly became a 'star'...
o level results got released...
boston u's application for masters in linguistics might be a problem...
and other stuff happened...

now members of the class have been named after disney princesses...

sarah: so what is gwen?
me: MULAN!
gwen: who's mulan?
jean: you know...the girl who fought in the chinese army...
gwen: oh..
me: wait...so if sarah's snow white, gwen's mulan, tam's sleeping beauty and all the rest.. what am i?
jean: hmm...*thinks* malificent.
me: AH? *rather disappointed that i got a witch...a cool witch nevertheless...but still...

WHY DO I ALWAYS GET THE VILLIAN?

ah well.

and then i went to shan's house yesterday to borrow her bio notes.
called her up at 9.30pm... (i just woke up) and then stared at the ceiling contemplating whether i should just wear what i wore to bed, and throw on a pair of pants..and run over to shan's without anyone noticing anything...

mom police caught me and demanded that i wear something decent.

ah well.

and shan's brother's probably too embarassed going to talk to me for some time...
was walking around their house when he just came out from the shower.

he saw me, did a 180 degrees turn and walked back into his room as fast as he could...

moral of the story: don't go walking around other people's houses when their family members are just coming out of the shower.

his expression was quite funny.

shan and i were laughing about it all through the next day.

and the o level results for tamil got released.

on the whole, the school did much worse than expected...

had to sit according to our index number...
and then the principal was giving us this loooong speech on how badly we did and how we might bring the school's rep down if we don't buck up...

i was occasionally listening...
and usually all i could hear from her was..

"i don't want you to be the batch that goes down in history, if you don't start now it will be too late....i don't want you to be the batch that goes down in history, your seniors did much better than you did...i don't want you to be the batch that goes down in history..."

pea was sitting behind me.

i think i was squeezing her hand so tight i cut of her blood supply.

and then we got our results.

nina and sarah started crying.
mainly because they had a2s.

hmph.

most people would be happy with an a2..

and then i heard mdm rina say "are you ok?" from behind me.
turns out she was talking to fatimah who was sitting behind.

fatimah was crying too.

i found myself walking down with her back to class.
trying to comfort her.

so i got back to class and syaz was waiting for us at the door...
we wanted her to come up with us to get our results, but she didn't want to be 'extra'...

ah..
well she saw fatimah and took care of her.

so i just went to my seat and sat down.

figured that i might as well call up my parents and let them know my score.
hid in the back of the classroom to make sure that i wouldn't get caught.

mom picked up the phone.
i told my results.

and then it dawned upon me that this was real.

for all the hard work that i put in i got this crap score.

and i could have done better if i had started earlier.

and then i started crying.
maybe it was the atmosphere.
not many people had dry eyes.
plus the talk the principal gave was more of a reprimanding session, rather than an encouraging one.

amane cried.

we let her down.

i feel guilty for making her cry... no matter how mean she's been to me for the past 4 years...

and i hung up cause i didn't want my mom to hear my cry.

so i turned around to see the entire class.
and for the first time in my secondary school life, i cried in front of people.

somehow i think crescent's cool.

it's ok to be a girl and start crying in a girls' school...
5 minutes later, half the class would be crying with you too...

spoke to 7 people.

ranging from the rents to my tuition teacher to the cedar principal, a close family friend...

all of them told me that it was no use retaking it.

dad's more supportive than usual..
halfway through dinner he left his seat and ran to his room and picked up a pen and paper and started drawing gausian (is that what you call it?) curves and started explaining the percentile theory to me.

good ol' dad.
fork in one hand, pen in the other.

i guess that's the good thing about him...he's always so steady...makes me feel secure...

gee applied to lse with her o level results.
they took her in right away.
prob cause she got 8a1s and 1a2 for french.

plan 3b of taking a masters in linguistics and then working for a bank is probably not going to work out with this crap score for language #3.

now i have to rely on my french and english.

there a problem though.

boston u would take me in due to me 3 humanes 3 languages 4 sciences course.
i need great scores for all of them to get in.

but life goes on, right?

so what if boston u wouldn't want to take me in anymore?

i applied when i was 14.
i got the callback last month.

i'm 2 years early.

and i'm not saying that their standards are substandard....

i'm just saying that its equivocal what the criteria is.