now that the last day of school has come to a close, i have certain bones i want to pick with some people.

let's call them a, b, c, d and e.

dear `a,
after 2 years of false pretentions, i've finally realised what kind of a person you are.
there's one thing about being nice to a person to her face and then bitching about her behind her back once.
it's something else when it lasts for 2 years.
don't try pushing the blame to someone else just to make yourself feel better.
no one can *make* you become a loser.
you just evolve into one yourself.
too bad if you feel alone.
go get that blow up doll you call a boyfriend to comfort you or something.
and from what i hear from the rest of your "best friends", they agree with me too.
so much for me "stealing your best friends" if they all wanted to kick you out anyway.

and let's not even get started with your relationship with `b.

`b told me that you were a racist, and that you warned her against me.
which i didn't really believe, since it was `b who was telling me this.
and it's common knowledge that i don't really take what `b says seriously.

and i still don't. cause i don't see how you would be able to survive being a racist in crescent without being trampled to death first.

listen up, i *never* had the intention to take you away from `b.
i've got better things to do.
besides, i never really wanted `b in my life anyway...

i just wanted `b to stop being your slave cause whenever i saw it i just needed to go to the nearest toilet to barf.

no one likes being a slave, not even `b. even if `b loves you to bits.

of course, there's `b.
frankenstein.
sarah puts it nice and simply.
"aiyah...it's very simple.. no one liked the way `a treated `b. but you were the only one who bothered to change it. then `b decided to leech on to you. and then you dug her out with a shovel.and now `a hates you for taking `b away from her."

sarah, leeching is an understatement.

day 1: to a ludicrous statement, anjali replies with ehr catch phrase.
day 2 and every day after that: `b decides to end every statement by using anjali's same catch phrase in the exact same tone. and anjali notices.

day 8: anjali goes into u2 with `b. after two hours of contemplating, she buys a navy tank.
day 14: `b appears at anjali's door, wearing the exact same tank. anjali shudders. and thinks that `b's way creepy.

day 21: anjali, `b and a mutual friend go into giodarno. anjali buys the *last* peasant top in black.
day 25: `b turns up in an identical khaki peasant top.

day 67: the *cool* gang comes along, and warns ex classmate, anjali about `b. anjali doesn't care about it and decides for some warped reason to defend `b.
day 68: `b: "isn't it f****** obvious that anjali's the one bitching about me?"

last straw.
if i actually bother to waste my energy defending you and justifying your actions, the least i expect is some gratitude. i'm not your lawyer or something.
as for style, for god's sake, FIND YOUR OWN. it's not "cool" if you just copy someone else's.

day 73625 onwards: anjali decides to ignore `b.

day 452957295: anjali smiles at `b and realizes what jean says when she means that `b's smile freaks her out.

and i don't see why i keep bothering to help thses ingrate irritatants.

same thing with `c.

today, defended her again?
why bother, right?

she wasn't ever nice to me..
let's not bother about her being polite.

i'm one of the first few people you put down.
and it seems to be pretty obvious that the things i consider to be important you deem as insignificant and useless.
in fact, it's not just myself. it's every single *normal person*

but let's simplify it to one sentence that i'm pretty sure i can not just say to you, but to everyone, a,b,c,d AND e.

what did i ever do to you for you to treat me this way?

i'm still defending you, `c. i don't know why. maybe cause i've known you the longest and i probably should for old times' sake.

but it doesn't seem worth it when everyone else points out that you never show any gratitude anyway, and even when we tell you to change, you won't.

the person you consider to be your "closest friend" is going against you.
the person who i really respect since she's the one who tolerates all of your nonsense is going against you too.
and so is the one you idolize.

just change, will you?

you can't manufacture a miracle
the silence was pitiful - that day
and love is getting too cynical
passion's just physical - these days.

you analyse everyone you meet
but get no sign - the loving kind
every night you admit defeat
and cry yourself blind.

the dj said on the radio
life should be stereo - each day

and the past that cast the unsuitable
instead of some kind of beautiful

you just couldn't wait.

all your friends think you're satisfied
but they can't see your soul.

forgot the time feeling petrified
when they lived alone.

if you can't wake up in the morning
cause your bed lies vacant at night
if you're lost, hurt, tired or lonely
can't control it - try as you might.

may you find that love that won't leave you
may you find it by the end of the day
you won't be lost, hurt, tired and lonely
something beautiful will come your way.

6 points.
perfect score.
b4 for history.
a1s for everything else.
improved 9 points from my midyear l1r5.
improved by one position in class ranking.
no more number two.
i am number one.

move over jean.

haha. just kiddin'.

so here i am. with a relatively good score.
and yet... i feel so.. indifferent.

parents didn't really seem to be quite suprised with the marks.

when i came home with 9 points before the moderation, mommy dearest reactions were as follows..

her: so what did you get?
me: oh. b4 for history. b3 from a maths and june's tamil paper. a2 from english. a1s for the res..
her: what did you get for a maths?
me: 3.
her: a 3 for a maths? after all the money we spent on you, you got a 3 for a maths?
me: i'm still in the top 3.
her: weren't you first for the midyear? what did u get for the midyear?
me: exactly the same score.
her: i don't know why you're not disappointed. you've played so much. there's no wonder why you got such a grade.
me: whatever.
her: and a 2 for english? why can't you make it a one.
me: dunno.
her: you come from an english speaking family. the only language we ever speak at home IS english. how can you not get an a1 for english?
me: dunno.
*and then the final nail on the coffin*
her: DO YOU KNOW THAT GEETHA GOT 6 FOR HER EXAMS?
me: yeah.
*like i didn't know it already.*

so somehow i always knew that unless i got a six i would be considered inferior to geetha.

and now i have a six.
called mommy dearest up again.

me: my results changed?
her: for the better or the worse?
me: better. guess how much i got?
her: 6 points?
me: yes. a perfect score! a1s for everything!!!
her: 8a1s? finally. after all we do for you.
me: um..no.. 6a1s.. one b3 for tamil and one b4 for history...
her: ...geetha got 8a1s and 1 a2 for french.

it is just never enough for her.

hmph.

anyway, congrats 4g3!

highest distinction rate for english.
most improved class overall too, i presume.

to *you*...
there's no point for me to bother about you and your insignificant opinions.
the jealousy i see in your eyes, is well... amusing.

i did relatively well.
yay for me.

you didn't.
so then work harder.

don't take it out on me.

now i laugh for considering you to be a friend.
for all the encouragement i give to you..
you return me with this?

ha.

whatever, babe.

there's no use me sticking up for you anymore.

i am *so* not concerned with you.

yeah. and the self denial's working damn fine for you too.

"i can't believe a slacker like anjali got a perfect score. she must be acting in school or something.. she must like go home and study the whole night through..."

there's no facade.

i slack like anything.

too bad for you, if you did badly.

but why must you take it out on me?

honestly, with all the different activities i'm surrounded with, and the fact that i know exactly what happens on every tv show, and you see me online ever second you'd realize.

but does your jealously blind you?

maybe the reason is because i don't spend my every second of existence plotting how to bring people down.

oh yeah. it must be damn hard.
to have a "slacker" beating you.

too bad.

suck it up, bitch.

*i* wasn't the person who caused you to fail.