and i'm in school now.
practically everyone else is in the com lab applying for s papers.
while i blog away.
something tells me that i am making a mistake not bothering to apply... what with more than half of the cohort taking at least one s paper.
ah well.
today was another useless day. shouldn't have even bothered to come.
played taboo during bio and maths tutorial with the teachers.
then did evaluation for econs.
last day of school.
no one's really bothered to pay attention to aynthing anymore. and i think everyone knows it..
well apart from the econs lecturers who want to do a case study post mortem.
they should just learn from the bio teachers and cancel the lecture.
and it's the last day of school.
but there's no feeling.
no oh my god we're finally leaving ness.
or oh man, we're really going to miss this place ness.
all we have is the "i have to apply for s paper and beg every single teacher in town" panic spread all around school.
and pw.
which i shall not bother to do since the kuperan residence has unofficially become the meeting place of my pw group.
it's this feeling of indifference slowly seeping through like some disease.
which would inevitably lead to depression.
ok nevermind shall go.
Thursday, October 28, 2004
i am tired.
ugh.
school sucks.
it has reduced us to well.. lumps.
got a taste of old school lesson ponning with hongyan sitting on the floor at lt2.5 leaning against the lockers and counting money for ra.
just like crescent times.
but it's different this time.
somehow the fire and the drive i had is now lost. or clouded, or just too lazy to come out.
and teachers in rj are such shits.
it's just not worth talking about them.
saw amelie today during gp.
only lesson that i actually went for today.
went to school and sulked around the corridor for hongyan to finish her lit s paper lecture.
and left school in a horribly foul mood.
culmination of the effects of the tamil teacher, the WOMAN, lucky lit people and r__.
"why don't you take econs s, anj?"
"why don't you take quantum physics s, bum?"
ugh.
you lit people have it made.
stupid stupid chicken me.
oh well.
am tired.
amelie was a nice movie. simplistic.
ugh.
school sucks.
it has reduced us to well.. lumps.
got a taste of old school lesson ponning with hongyan sitting on the floor at lt2.5 leaning against the lockers and counting money for ra.
just like crescent times.
but it's different this time.
somehow the fire and the drive i had is now lost. or clouded, or just too lazy to come out.
and teachers in rj are such shits.
it's just not worth talking about them.
saw amelie today during gp.
only lesson that i actually went for today.
went to school and sulked around the corridor for hongyan to finish her lit s paper lecture.
and left school in a horribly foul mood.
culmination of the effects of the tamil teacher, the WOMAN, lucky lit people and r__.
"why don't you take econs s, anj?"
"why don't you take quantum physics s, bum?"
ugh.
you lit people have it made.
stupid stupid chicken me.
oh well.
am tired.
amelie was a nice movie. simplistic.
in a different light
words cannot describe
the way i'm feeling
cause i've been searching in my head
for the words i thought she said
for too long
i feel her slipping through my fingers
now she's gone
i'm sleeping with the light on
and sharks swim through my veins now
that she's gone
i'm sleeping with the light on
i'm sleeping with the light on.
Wednesday, October 27, 2004
long time no blog.
headache onset.
weird though.
hardly get headaches.
maybe cause i watched half of anastacia on the disney channel upside down with all the blood rushing to my head.
supposed to go with mel to zouk tomorrow to watch the power thing.
have to give it up since i've got marvellous tamil tuition.
let's recap.
have had promos.
and have gotten back my results.
had openhouse.
had ra sales.
had pw dry run.
had lunch today with the class.
promos were.. well promos.
passed. cddd.
nothing compared to karl's 4 as.
how irritating.
so i guess i'm not going to pj next year.
nor am i redoing j1.
not doing any s papers.
obviously don't qualify for any.
and there was openhouse.
which i was in a pretty good mood for, since i had already passed 2 a level subjects, so i knew that i wouldn't be retained and have to guide my future batchmates.
did a bit of befriending.
this ri guy who dumped me halfway.
these chung cheng high girls who dumped me halfway.
nanyang prc scholars who also dumped me halfway. ok, nto actually dumped. they wanted to go somewhere, and didn't wait for me to follow them. so i lost them.
only group that stayed was the ac boys.
who were quite cute.
small boy cute, not freaky paedophilic cute.
overheard them during cheerleading talking about how the guys were handling the girls.
then they asked me whether anyone could join cheerleading.
ha.
them: oh the ohana dance is next.
me: yeah.
them: *staring at my shirt* so wouldn't you be dancing?
me: um..no?
them: why?
me: cause my partner dumped me.
them: we can partner you.
me: i'm sure. one of me and 6 of you.
quite sweet of them to offer actually.
and they were a nice tall group to hide in when the other befrienders ran out to dance.
after that dragged them around the school.
or they dragged me.
both ways actually.
one of them was a table tennis player and wanted me to find the booth for him.
and i dragged him around. to like the hall and spexx gall and squash courts for some weird reason.
and we finally found it in the indoor gym.
and they played table tennis against each other for a while.
and then got bored and played volleyball.
against the rj girls' team.
too bad they kind of got trashed.
haha.
and then some of them played badminton, and the rest just sat down with me and talked about stuff.
nice bunch.
and then left them to go do lysistrata statue thing for players.
sounds simple enough. to stone without moving in a costume.
not so easy.
kids like me can't keep still for 3 seconds.
and i couldn't keep the same crossed leg pose cause the gold paint i had on my body made everything smoother and my legs kept slipping off each other.
and the costume had a slit slashed all the way up to upper thigh.
not very easy to sit down in and hide cellulite.
but it was quite fun actually.
no specs which made it easier.
but there are always the people who come up to you and scream in your ear to see if you do anything.
just because we don't respond doesn't mean that we're deaf la.
but it was good
5 hours of stoning.
got to watch people go about doing their stuff.
keeping still was the hardest though.
and breathing slowly..
and staring into space.
eyes started tearing after 4th hour.
kept going.
and my ac boys came back later while i was a statue and tried to make me laugh.
they almost did.
almost.
told them earlier on that if they touched me while i was a statue i'd slap them.
guess they thought that i was serious. haha.
and then there was ra publicity.
which was fun.
helen tan just stared at me for 5 minutes.
so i stared back.
and out-stared her.
haha.
and ariff chan bought the ra magazine so that he could pose next to me and take a picture.
cute in a weird nerdy bio teacher way.
it wasn't like i was the statue of liberty or anything.
he too tried to outstare me and then gave up and muttered "amazing.." and then walked away.
standing for 2 hours straight is no easy feat.
my legs hurt like crazy after that.
couldn't even stand straight.
still beat the boys' record, which is kind of cool. but i'm sure that if they were serious, they would definitely be able to out stone me.
so that was openhouse.
sold 158 copies of ra.
kind of bad since it was the openhouse issue.
and the woman decided to print 1000 copies.
oh well.
there was back of the canteen sales.
in which hong yan and i did *a lot* of shifts.
and still only sold 96.
kind of irritating when you have a shift, and the person for the next shift doesn't turn up and you're stuck doing that person's shift for them and skipping chem lecture.
especially since people should stop tempting me to skip lectures since i've skipped way too many already.
still way away from target. so hongyan and i are ponning school tomorrow to go to crescent and try to sell.
we're a useless pair.
after botc sales on monday, i was trying to convince her to skip school the next day.. and she was trying to convince me to come.
so in the end, she ponned school and i turned up.
well i turned up. and then had civics. and then went with mel and deb to holland v to stone around..
hazelnut starbucks. cream and chocolate sauce.
and orange chocolate flavoured lip stain from bodyshop which is *so* yummy it makes it worth being a girl.
and came back for one period of biology prac. and then went home.
2 periods a day in school. well one since civics is hardly a subject.
marvellous.
today was pw dry run.
not too bad.
did pretty ok.
pravin is suprisingly charismatic.
people were actually listening to him.
after that went for lunch.
the boys in my class are so childish.
zheng kept banging into me on the way to ghim moh for lunch.
nearly would have pushed me into the drain if ranon hadn't been there.
and karl.
eurgh.
for a person who got 4 as for his promos..
he's disgustingly childish.
grabbed my phone and texted "i miss you" to mc tay.
wonderful.
so pravin grabbed vid's phone and messaged the same message to mc tay.
to like "get me out of trouble" or something.
and vid got damn pissed.
so while she was walloping him, i took the opportunity to grab karl's phone and message the same message to mctay, shang, shawn loh and other people i saw in his phonebook.
mctay's going to have a fit having to pay for all the i miss yous.
and after that karl and pravin and i were walking back and karl had to throw away the plastic bag with all the food.. and the bag was too big for the dustbin hole, so he fought with the dustbin for a while and managed to force it in.
and then came up to me and wiped all the dustbin slime on my arm.
scream.
i could have just slapped him.
headache onset.
weird though.
hardly get headaches.
maybe cause i watched half of anastacia on the disney channel upside down with all the blood rushing to my head.
supposed to go with mel to zouk tomorrow to watch the power thing.
have to give it up since i've got marvellous tamil tuition.
let's recap.
have had promos.
and have gotten back my results.
had openhouse.
had ra sales.
had pw dry run.
had lunch today with the class.
promos were.. well promos.
passed. cddd.
nothing compared to karl's 4 as.
how irritating.
so i guess i'm not going to pj next year.
nor am i redoing j1.
not doing any s papers.
obviously don't qualify for any.
and there was openhouse.
which i was in a pretty good mood for, since i had already passed 2 a level subjects, so i knew that i wouldn't be retained and have to guide my future batchmates.
did a bit of befriending.
this ri guy who dumped me halfway.
these chung cheng high girls who dumped me halfway.
nanyang prc scholars who also dumped me halfway. ok, nto actually dumped. they wanted to go somewhere, and didn't wait for me to follow them. so i lost them.
only group that stayed was the ac boys.
who were quite cute.
small boy cute, not freaky paedophilic cute.
overheard them during cheerleading talking about how the guys were handling the girls.
then they asked me whether anyone could join cheerleading.
ha.
them: oh the ohana dance is next.
me: yeah.
them: *staring at my shirt* so wouldn't you be dancing?
me: um..no?
them: why?
me: cause my partner dumped me.
them: we can partner you.
me: i'm sure. one of me and 6 of you.
quite sweet of them to offer actually.
and they were a nice tall group to hide in when the other befrienders ran out to dance.
after that dragged them around the school.
or they dragged me.
both ways actually.
one of them was a table tennis player and wanted me to find the booth for him.
and i dragged him around. to like the hall and spexx gall and squash courts for some weird reason.
and we finally found it in the indoor gym.
and they played table tennis against each other for a while.
and then got bored and played volleyball.
against the rj girls' team.
too bad they kind of got trashed.
haha.
and then some of them played badminton, and the rest just sat down with me and talked about stuff.
nice bunch.
and then left them to go do lysistrata statue thing for players.
sounds simple enough. to stone without moving in a costume.
not so easy.
kids like me can't keep still for 3 seconds.
and i couldn't keep the same crossed leg pose cause the gold paint i had on my body made everything smoother and my legs kept slipping off each other.
and the costume had a slit slashed all the way up to upper thigh.
not very easy to sit down in and hide cellulite.
but it was quite fun actually.
no specs which made it easier.
but there are always the people who come up to you and scream in your ear to see if you do anything.
just because we don't respond doesn't mean that we're deaf la.
but it was good
5 hours of stoning.
got to watch people go about doing their stuff.
keeping still was the hardest though.
and breathing slowly..
and staring into space.
eyes started tearing after 4th hour.
kept going.
and my ac boys came back later while i was a statue and tried to make me laugh.
they almost did.
almost.
told them earlier on that if they touched me while i was a statue i'd slap them.
guess they thought that i was serious. haha.
and then there was ra publicity.
which was fun.
helen tan just stared at me for 5 minutes.
so i stared back.
and out-stared her.
haha.
and ariff chan bought the ra magazine so that he could pose next to me and take a picture.
cute in a weird nerdy bio teacher way.
it wasn't like i was the statue of liberty or anything.
he too tried to outstare me and then gave up and muttered "amazing.." and then walked away.
standing for 2 hours straight is no easy feat.
my legs hurt like crazy after that.
couldn't even stand straight.
still beat the boys' record, which is kind of cool. but i'm sure that if they were serious, they would definitely be able to out stone me.
so that was openhouse.
sold 158 copies of ra.
kind of bad since it was the openhouse issue.
and the woman decided to print 1000 copies.
oh well.
there was back of the canteen sales.
in which hong yan and i did *a lot* of shifts.
and still only sold 96.
kind of irritating when you have a shift, and the person for the next shift doesn't turn up and you're stuck doing that person's shift for them and skipping chem lecture.
especially since people should stop tempting me to skip lectures since i've skipped way too many already.
still way away from target. so hongyan and i are ponning school tomorrow to go to crescent and try to sell.
we're a useless pair.
after botc sales on monday, i was trying to convince her to skip school the next day.. and she was trying to convince me to come.
so in the end, she ponned school and i turned up.
well i turned up. and then had civics. and then went with mel and deb to holland v to stone around..
hazelnut starbucks. cream and chocolate sauce.
and orange chocolate flavoured lip stain from bodyshop which is *so* yummy it makes it worth being a girl.
and came back for one period of biology prac. and then went home.
2 periods a day in school. well one since civics is hardly a subject.
marvellous.
today was pw dry run.
not too bad.
did pretty ok.
pravin is suprisingly charismatic.
people were actually listening to him.
after that went for lunch.
the boys in my class are so childish.
zheng kept banging into me on the way to ghim moh for lunch.
nearly would have pushed me into the drain if ranon hadn't been there.
and karl.
eurgh.
for a person who got 4 as for his promos..
he's disgustingly childish.
grabbed my phone and texted "i miss you" to mc tay.
wonderful.
so pravin grabbed vid's phone and messaged the same message to mc tay.
to like "get me out of trouble" or something.
and vid got damn pissed.
so while she was walloping him, i took the opportunity to grab karl's phone and message the same message to mctay, shang, shawn loh and other people i saw in his phonebook.
mctay's going to have a fit having to pay for all the i miss yous.
and after that karl and pravin and i were walking back and karl had to throw away the plastic bag with all the food.. and the bag was too big for the dustbin hole, so he fought with the dustbin for a while and managed to force it in.
and then came up to me and wiped all the dustbin slime on my arm.
scream.
i could have just slapped him.
i know you want to hear me speak
but i'm afraid that if i start to
i'll never stop.
i want you to know
you belong in my life
i love the hope i see in your eyes.
for you i would fly
at least i would try
for you i'd take
the last flight out.
i cannot hold back the truth no more
i let you wait too long
although it's hard and scares me so
a life without you scares me more.
Tuesday, October 26, 2004
Stuck to a chair
Watching this story about me
Everything goes by so fast
Making my head spin
Used up all of my friends
Who needs them
when you mean everything
I love the things that we should fear
I'm not afraid of being here
So much the same
It makes me helpless alone
Nothing to share
Why should I care if your near me
Give up all of my plans
But who needs them
When you mean everything
I love the things that we should fear
I'm not afraid of being here
So much the same
You make me helpless alone
You make me come
You make me complete
You make me completely miserable
I love the things that we should fear
I'm not afraid of being here
So much the same
It makes me helpless alone
You make me come
You make me complete
You make me completely miserable.
Watching this story about me
Everything goes by so fast
Making my head spin
Used up all of my friends
Who needs them
when you mean everything
I love the things that we should fear
I'm not afraid of being here
So much the same
It makes me helpless alone
Nothing to share
Why should I care if your near me
Give up all of my plans
But who needs them
When you mean everything
I love the things that we should fear
I'm not afraid of being here
So much the same
You make me helpless alone
You make me come
You make me complete
You make me completely miserable
I love the things that we should fear
I'm not afraid of being here
So much the same
It makes me helpless alone
You make me come
You make me complete
You make me completely miserable.
Thursday, October 21, 2004
openhouse tomorrow
am stretched between the ra booth, reprising my role in lysis, this time just as a statue for rp..
and the openohuse dance
which i still haven't mastered yet.
oh well.
need to wear hawaiian clothes tomorrow.
my only hawaiian sundress has shrunk so much it hardly covers my bum.
am stretched between the ra booth, reprising my role in lysis, this time just as a statue for rp..
and the openohuse dance
which i still haven't mastered yet.
oh well.
need to wear hawaiian clothes tomorrow.
my only hawaiian sundress has shrunk so much it hardly covers my bum.
cold hard bitch
just a kiss on the lips
and i was on my knees
i'm waiting, give me
Sunday, October 17, 2004
can't bring myself to finish dinner.
lost my appetite for some weird reason.
i bet it was french.
oh well.
don't know how boys can eat everything.
like how on wednesday i went to ms to meet up with karl and ranon.
ranon: let's go eat at prince.
me: i'm broke.
karl: *eating some sour sauce hamburger thing* yeah let's go for dinner.
me: karl. you're eating. like now.
karl: this is tea. let's go for dinner after i finish.
me: no money.
karl: no. i bet you have money. *grabs my wallet and goes through everything and realizes that i have $2* you have $2.
me: i can't even get fries la. let alone a dinner at prince.. *smiles* kaaarl.. pay for my dinner?
karl: fine.
haha.
and after karl finishes his burger we go to prince to eat again.
where karl eats everything super fast.
but i shouldn't scrutinize these things.
he did pay for dinner after all.
but i should stop leeching off people and start paying for my own lunches.
ok who am i kidding?
haha.
as long as i have karl owing me 2 extra value meals, matt owing me lunch, zheng owing me pizza and other misc people..
i can save a whole lot of money.
like how i could have a whole nydc elephanccino, piza and mudpie all paid for by mr kwok.
haha.
that was just too easy.
haven't done a quiz in a long time.
here's one.
lost my appetite for some weird reason.
i bet it was french.
oh well.
don't know how boys can eat everything.
like how on wednesday i went to ms to meet up with karl and ranon.
ranon: let's go eat at prince.
me: i'm broke.
karl: *eating some sour sauce hamburger thing* yeah let's go for dinner.
me: karl. you're eating. like now.
karl: this is tea. let's go for dinner after i finish.
me: no money.
karl: no. i bet you have money. *grabs my wallet and goes through everything and realizes that i have $2* you have $2.
me: i can't even get fries la. let alone a dinner at prince.. *smiles* kaaarl.. pay for my dinner?
karl: fine.
haha.
and after karl finishes his burger we go to prince to eat again.
where karl eats everything super fast.
but i shouldn't scrutinize these things.
he did pay for dinner after all.
but i should stop leeching off people and start paying for my own lunches.
ok who am i kidding?
haha.
as long as i have karl owing me 2 extra value meals, matt owing me lunch, zheng owing me pizza and other misc people..
i can save a whole lot of money.
like how i could have a whole nydc elephanccino, piza and mudpie all paid for by mr kwok.
haha.
that was just too easy.
haven't done a quiz in a long time.
here's one.
You Are Gwen Stefani!All guys dream about youAnd all the girls want to be you"Sappy pathetic little meThat was the girl I used to be"Who's Your Inner Rock Chick? Take This Quiz :-) |  |
Friday, October 15, 2004
farewell assembly today.
none of the seniors cried.
how useless.
at last year's farewell at crescent i was bawling my eyes out.
oh well.
realized that hongyan and i have become very protective of our seniors.
won't let anyone badmouth them.
haha.
oh well.
useless bunch of weeg, hongyan joyce yv and kelly abandoned me and the j2 ra exco.
so ended up taking the picture as the only j1.
and the only girl.
and seng's super tall i look like a midget next to him.
and weeg is super amused by whatever i say.
like today during the ccal briefing..
shawn: so here is the plan of cca booths for openhouse.
abs: *scans*we're next to chorale.
me: yucks. they'll be SINGING. how are we going to broadcast our radio station if they anyhow sing halfway?
weeg: *laughs*
me: what?
shawn: and ra, you're sharing the bamboo garden with french connection.
me: *TSK* why?! bamboo gardens is ours! what's fx doing there? useless fx.
weeg: *laughs*
me: how useless la. we're blasting our music next to a choir! and we have to share our space with fx! *pouts* useless fx.
weeg: *laughs*
me: weeeeeeeeeeeeeg.. tell fx to shove off.
weeg: why should i?
nik: anj, aren't you in fx?
me: ya. but doesn't mean that they can take our space right?
weeg: *laughs*
me: *pouts* how disgusting. a radio statio next to a choir and two magazines side by side. things can't get any worse. *spots monish across the aisle* WHERE'S OUTLOOK?!
weeg: *nearly falls off chair laughing*
weeg.
nothing beats the time i tried to feed him a piece of my brownie when he was drunk.
and when he opened his mouth to take a bath, these *fumes* of alcohol just came out and i was so disgusted i just gave the whole piece to him.
oh well.
the finale was quite nice.
and the whole sitting on the floor watching friends from a projector was nice.
amrita, maria and i just sat in the spex gall after that until 10pm.
talking about anything and everything.
but mostly about missing the things here.
and missing this campus.
and the seniors.
and the fact that we'll be like that next year.
i'm still coming to terms with being 17.
j1 year having almost past is so unreal.
being a j2 is just.. something i've never thught about.
i could never be like them.
none of the seniors cried.
how useless.
at last year's farewell at crescent i was bawling my eyes out.
oh well.
realized that hongyan and i have become very protective of our seniors.
won't let anyone badmouth them.
haha.
oh well.
useless bunch of weeg, hongyan joyce yv and kelly abandoned me and the j2 ra exco.
so ended up taking the picture as the only j1.
and the only girl.
and seng's super tall i look like a midget next to him.
and weeg is super amused by whatever i say.
like today during the ccal briefing..
shawn: so here is the plan of cca booths for openhouse.
abs: *scans*we're next to chorale.
me: yucks. they'll be SINGING. how are we going to broadcast our radio station if they anyhow sing halfway?
weeg: *laughs*
me: what?
shawn: and ra, you're sharing the bamboo garden with french connection.
me: *TSK* why?! bamboo gardens is ours! what's fx doing there? useless fx.
weeg: *laughs*
me: how useless la. we're blasting our music next to a choir! and we have to share our space with fx! *pouts* useless fx.
weeg: *laughs*
me: weeeeeeeeeeeeeg.. tell fx to shove off.
weeg: why should i?
nik: anj, aren't you in fx?
me: ya. but doesn't mean that they can take our space right?
weeg: *laughs*
me: *pouts* how disgusting. a radio statio next to a choir and two magazines side by side. things can't get any worse. *spots monish across the aisle* WHERE'S OUTLOOK?!
weeg: *nearly falls off chair laughing*
weeg.
nothing beats the time i tried to feed him a piece of my brownie when he was drunk.
and when he opened his mouth to take a bath, these *fumes* of alcohol just came out and i was so disgusted i just gave the whole piece to him.
oh well.
the finale was quite nice.
and the whole sitting on the floor watching friends from a projector was nice.
amrita, maria and i just sat in the spex gall after that until 10pm.
talking about anything and everything.
but mostly about missing the things here.
and missing this campus.
and the seniors.
and the fact that we'll be like that next year.
i'm still coming to terms with being 17.
j1 year having almost past is so unreal.
being a j2 is just.. something i've never thught about.
i could never be like them.
it's something unpredictable
but in the end it's right,
i hope you had the time of your life.
was looking at seng's room pictures.
reminds me a bit of cheng's.
well the bed at least.
haha seng and cheng rhyme.
anyway. cheng's bed's really inviting.
and i can just fall asleep in it.
someone once said that the more comfortable you are with a friend, the more you'll make yourself at home.
and i've known chengs since primary school, so i guess we're pretty close.
and we can like talk about anything and still catch up eventhough we've been going through such different lives.
and for a long time to come too.
reminds me a bit of cheng's.
well the bed at least.
haha seng and cheng rhyme.
anyway. cheng's bed's really inviting.
and i can just fall asleep in it.
someone once said that the more comfortable you are with a friend, the more you'll make yourself at home.
and i've known chengs since primary school, so i guess we're pretty close.
and we can like talk about anything and still catch up eventhough we've been going through such different lives.
and for a long time to come too.
was looking at seng's room pictures.
reminds me a bit of cheng's.
well the bed at least.
haha seng and cheng rhyme.
anyway. cheng's bed's really inviting.
and i can just fall asleep in it.
someone once said that the more comfortable you are with a friend, the more you'll make yourself at home.
and i've known chengs since primary school, so i guess we're pretty close.
and we can like talk about anything and still catch up eventhough we've been going through such different lives.
and for a long time to come too.
reminds me a bit of cheng's.
well the bed at least.
haha seng and cheng rhyme.
anyway. cheng's bed's really inviting.
and i can just fall asleep in it.
someone once said that the more comfortable you are with a friend, the more you'll make yourself at home.
and i've known chengs since primary school, so i guess we're pretty close.
and we can like talk about anything and still catch up eventhough we've been going through such different lives.
and for a long time to come too.
watch the sunrise
say your goodbyes
off we go.
some conversation
no contemplation
hit the road.
car overheats
jump out of my seat
on the side of the highway
baby.
our road is long
your hold is strong
please don't ever let go
i know i don't know you
but i want you so bad
everyone has a secret
but can they keep it
no they can't
i'm driving fast now
don't think i know how
to go slow
where you at now
i feel around
there you are
cool these engines
calm these jets
i've asked you how hot can it get
and as you wipe of beads of sweat
slowly you say..
i'm not there yet.
i know i don't know you
but i want you so bad
everyone has a secret
but can they keep it
no they can't.
songs about jane. secret.
oh man, i wish i was jane.
and to have adam levine to like write 52729352957 songs about me.
i'll spread my wings
and i'll learn how to fly
i'll do what it takes till I touch the sky.
make a wish
take a chance
make a change
and break away.
it's 4.
blogger ate the rest.
anyway.
here's the whole point of my 3 hours long blogpost.
i don't like the words on it anymore.
help me think of something different to put in as words rather than "i'm scared, but i'm not coming down."
it's the 21st layout.
should i call it twentyone?
21 layouts.
25 months.
i have more layouts than i do years.
21's huge.
you can drink.. drive.. have sex.. get married..
something tells me that i might be doing it in that order.
already have the drinking down atleast.
poor jessea thyidor got kicked out of singapore idol.
i thought she would win.
blogger ate the rest.
anyway.
here's the whole point of my 3 hours long blogpost.
i don't like the words on it anymore.
help me think of something different to put in as words rather than "i'm scared, but i'm not coming down."
it's the 21st layout.
should i call it twentyone?
21 layouts.
25 months.
i have more layouts than i do years.
21's huge.
you can drink.. drive.. have sex.. get married..
something tells me that i might be doing it in that order.
already have the drinking down atleast.
poor jessea thyidor got kicked out of singapore idol.
i thought she would win.
can you feel me
imagining i'm looking in your eyes
i can see you clearly
vividly emblazoned in my mind
and yet you're so far
like a distant star
i'm wishing on tonight
i'd give my all to have
just one more night with you
i'd risk my life to feel
your body next to mine
cause i can't go on
living in the memory of our song
i'd give my all
for your love tonight.
and i'm back.
boy, if i had a buck for each time that i've said that.
with a new layout.
yes, that too.
was thinking what words i should put on it.
decided on "i'm scared, but i'm not coming down"
from third eye blind.
semi charmed kind of life.
how predictable.
anyway, had this image of this kid in a tree. and like how he was so high up and how he didn't want to come down.
so the high up-ness and the wings.
yes. think what you will.
gws once said that i was the most irreverent student she had.
she called it lateral thinking. like how you'd be doing something, but your mind would be somewhere else. and suddenly you'd say something totally not related.
that was probably her theory that she would have created with mr m.
but honestly, teachers shouldn't waste their time discussing students.
anyway, alicia keys looks good in the new usher video.
she and usher make a nice pair.
never would have guessed it though.
it's almost 3.
school tomorrow starts at 5pm.
haha.
how useless.
school at 5pm.
if it was a normal day, i'd have to wake up in 3 hours.
am going to bed later and later nowadays.
and reaching school later too.
and lazier.
and hungrier.
someone make it stop.
was supposed to go shopping with mel today.
who had to bail since she spent the night at sarah's and wanted to go home to sleep.
so slouched around at home.
wonderful mother had to entertain.
useless party with her useless friends.
she's having her term break from school now.
so i'm in a house with 28 women cackling every 15 minutes.
ok that's mean. they weren't cackling.
just laughing.
in a really loud, sharp, shrill irritating way.
my punctuation is starting to suck.
and i put full stops at the end of everything.
and half an hour i forgot how to spell haven't.
i thought it was havn't.
too much smsing.
so anyway,
we have large parties.
and i'm used to it.
used to help my parents with the whole hosting thing when i was younger.
but as i grow up and become more hostile and antisocial..
ah well.
just locked myself up in my room.
well technically.
which is kind of useless since my lock doesn't really work.
so mom and dad and gee can still open the door even though it's "locked".
but somehow *i* always manage to get locked out.
and only the other kups can open it.
must be some power that i obviously didn't get since according to gee i was found in the dustbin and was never really my parents' kid.
"which is why you sound different and act different. you were adopted.. we found you in a dustbin since after you were born."
and i believed her since when i confronted my parents they just agreed with gee to shut me up.
and don't even get me started on what's going with gee and me now.
and the rents.
which leaves me as the only single person left in the family.
it's a lonesone lonesome place, let me tell you.
[blogger ate up the rest.]
maybe you and i
can pack our bags and say goodbye
and fly away from here
anywhere, honey, i don't care.
we'll just fly away from here
our hopes and dreams are out there somewhere.
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