it's times like these worth taking the long way home.

met up with old friends today. did a lot of talking on the way home.
walked all the way from holland v.

and then sat at the bus stop waiting for their bus to come.

i miss the times back in crescent when gwen and i would walk all the way down tanglin road, pass the embassies all the way down until we reach jelita.. then walk around the supermarket stealing all the free samples to "recharge" and then buy a fresh, juicy peach each and continue the long walk home.

it's seems really simple.. but those were some really deep moments.

and that's the thing about gwen and pea. they're the kind of people that make me think.. deeper.
the kind of deep conversation that i have been neglecting ever since coming to rj.

it's always whether i want chicken or tuna spaghetti.. nydc or swensen's for dessert.. the nikes or skechers for school.. and whether butane is a polar molecule.

but somehow tonight was about a totally different thing. putting things into perspective. and i've realised that i've changed a whole lot.

even pea said it.
it's like we haven't even spoken to each other for a month.

haha. and i've become more motherly.
like for pea when she wanted to buy a mocha frap and i kept screaming at her that too much caffeine is bad for her, especially when she JUST had a mocha frap with dinner half an hour ago at the cafe.

and i've started second guessing my choices a lot more. and taking things into perspective.
like how i might not be in the right place.

in all seriousness, what rj does is to get smart people "who form the top 5% of the nation's cohort" make them waste two years of their life in that lifeless place... and then make a big deal when the top 5% does better than the other schools in singapore.

i've said it before, i'll say it again.
crescent's so much better compared to this.
they take someone like me in, with one the the lowest psle scores in the school.. and make her get into the top jc.

that's what should be commended.

we all know that rj doesnt live up to its name.
sure, we are the top school.
but we get the top students, who by their natural talent, get the top prizes.
nothing new.

the most disappointing thing is probably the teachers.
somehow i don't think the rj ones would have made that much of an impact in my life.
the crescent teachers did a lot. they moulded me, pretty much.

but that's me digressing.
sometimes i wonder what happened to me.
have changed so much in these past 8 months.
yet i feel totally wasted.

it's like i've done nothing with them.
i'm totally lost with school stuff.
and every 11 hours in school is spent wasting it away.
talking about useless things to people.
not paying attention to lessons.
not that i could, anyway.. the people here are too smart for me.. and the teachers go way too fast.

i don't know whether it's influence or something.
after all, the first thing people ask me when i tell them that i'm from rj is whether the rumours are true.

and i don't know how to answer.
pea can only describe rj in one word: pretentious.

and sure, there are the whole gang of bitches who bitch behind your back.
but you get that everywhere.
and everyone has done some form of bitching.

and the rumours about that school and those people.
i don't know.
it's certainly not all of them.. one of them is one of my closest friends.

but i've realised that the bitchiest ones do come from that school.
and to think we were all together as innocent 6 year olds.

i guess i'm just the same naive person that pea said i was.

maybe.

but today was fun.
we should really do it again.