i'm just going to retype the main stuff again.
sans the cursing. and the curses that i threw at you.
55 minutes left as a 16 year old.
the last year of my teenage life is going to start off with a bang.
with pw.
to all the friends that had planned my party.. thanks.
i'm sorry i couldn't have been there.
i was forced to go for pw.
it's becoming disgustingly irritating.
eve's 17th was held at the grand ballroom of some posh hotel.
200 guests.
pretty expensive gifts.
formal invitations.
professional photography.
3 almost identical designer outfits and a proper tiara to change into during the night.
a 5 star chef and his sous.
waiters.
a dj.
and a dress code.
for my birthday..
i will be sitting in some small crammed room in some bustling area trying to do pw.
surrounded by the rest of the world who would be enjoying themselves shopping.
no gifts.
with only a "you'd better come or else" in the place of an invite.
wearing worn out slippers, a fushia tank top and crescent black shorts.
in the company of an innocent bystander, a rugger,
and a woman who's face i'd want to scratch till all her blood runs dry.
with 40 minutes to her birthday she was having fun at her birthday party on the arm of her boyfriend... radiant and disgustingly happy.
with 40 minutes to mine i am sitting her retyping an erased blog entry. with nonexistent memories of an ex boyfriend. eyebags and dark circles. feeling horrendously grumpy.
and she will be loved.
to all the friends who tried to cheer me up..
thanks.
i'd probably have jumped out of the window by now if not for you.
[and if i probably did, we all know who to blame.]
but i guess that's what's important.
i would have had my yatch party if some things hadn't taken "precedence" over others.
then my party would have rivaled eve's.
but i guess it's the friends that are willing to make the sacrifice.
the ones who burn 6 hours of their life after school waiting for you to be free..
the ones who take the mrt down all the way to bishan to meet you right after french.
the ones who sit in mos burger listening to you complain for 2 hours about rasha and your irritating french tutor, upcoming assignments.. bitchy irritants and pw.. and just listen.
the ones who drag you down to orchard road, cause they, like all good girlfriends, know that retail theraphy solves anything.
the ones who are reading this now and smiling to themselves cause they know that i am talking about them.
the high that make you forget about all your problems until you sit on the lonely bus ride home and reality hits you again.
the only birthday song today went to jimmy mctay.
when the clock strikes twelve she had balloons falling from the ceiling. and we were all singing her birthday song for her.
when the clock strikes twelve i'll be staring at my computer screen trying to finish pw... as microsoft word stares back at me with maroon 5 playing in the background.
26 minutes.
happy birthday.
Tuesday, August 31, 2004
Monday, August 30, 2004
and friends will end in two weeks.
it's a weird feeling.
something that you've had for so long to finally leave you.
there will be this void..
the monday night void.
first started watching friends when i was 6.
and now i'm 17.
11 years.
when rachel still had a huge nose.. and joey was italian.
when we still lived in a terrace house in holland village, where my sis and i would squash in my parents' bedroom with the tv on.. and she'd be on the bed and i'll be sprawled on the cold floor.. and my dad would come in and scream at my sis for letting me watch these kind of shows with sexual content.
kind of useless, when i hardly got any of the jokes..
cause i was still "young and innocent.."
and then in secondary school when starworld started showing repeats at 7.30 every weekday.
that's when i probably watched a lot of the episodes of the first 3 years at least twice.
and then there was the ross rachel thing.
can't believe they lasted through 10 years, a baby and joey.
oh well.
sometimes things just have to stop.
but it just hurts when they've been with you for so long.
more than half my life.
wow.
and i guess you just have to keep a piece of the memory and move on.
but i guess the reason why i'm blogging about this is because friends reminds me of my old cliques, that i used to be in.. and the way we used to hang out.. and just hang.
and somehow i hold on to this hope that we'll be together too.
hanging out at a coffee shop.
or at each other's houses.
when we're grown up.
just like the 6 of them.
and to my old friends..
those who i've lost contact with..
and those that i still have contact with..
i miss you guys.
especially you.
the one who's reading it and feeling the same way.
and if you're wondering whether i'm talking about you.
you're right.
i am.
it's a weird feeling.
something that you've had for so long to finally leave you.
there will be this void..
the monday night void.
first started watching friends when i was 6.
and now i'm 17.
11 years.
when rachel still had a huge nose.. and joey was italian.
when we still lived in a terrace house in holland village, where my sis and i would squash in my parents' bedroom with the tv on.. and she'd be on the bed and i'll be sprawled on the cold floor.. and my dad would come in and scream at my sis for letting me watch these kind of shows with sexual content.
kind of useless, when i hardly got any of the jokes..
cause i was still "young and innocent.."
and then in secondary school when starworld started showing repeats at 7.30 every weekday.
that's when i probably watched a lot of the episodes of the first 3 years at least twice.
and then there was the ross rachel thing.
can't believe they lasted through 10 years, a baby and joey.
oh well.
sometimes things just have to stop.
but it just hurts when they've been with you for so long.
more than half my life.
wow.
and i guess you just have to keep a piece of the memory and move on.
but i guess the reason why i'm blogging about this is because friends reminds me of my old cliques, that i used to be in.. and the way we used to hang out.. and just hang.
and somehow i hold on to this hope that we'll be together too.
hanging out at a coffee shop.
or at each other's houses.
when we're grown up.
just like the 6 of them.
and to my old friends..
those who i've lost contact with..
and those that i still have contact with..
i miss you guys.
especially you.
the one who's reading it and feeling the same way.
and if you're wondering whether i'm talking about you.
you're right.
i am.
new layout.
inspiration came from lysistrata's female chorus.
haha. we were supposed to play plasticks.
and here are the *real* plasticks.
but i think smrit, jen, claud and i might have pulled it off. haha.
and besides, this is probably the only time that i can get away with a pink mean girls layout, so i might as well take full advantage of it.
think sarah's influencing me too much.
went shopping today at fox.
bought this hot pink racerback tank top.
made of horrible material..
that makes me look like some wrapped fushia dumpling.
oh well. it *was* on sale.
was supposed to do filing.. but pass that dutch was playing on the radio.. and i was thinking about lysis..
the temptation was just too hard to resist.
haha.
inspiration came from lysistrata's female chorus.
haha. we were supposed to play plasticks.
and here are the *real* plasticks.
but i think smrit, jen, claud and i might have pulled it off. haha.
and besides, this is probably the only time that i can get away with a pink mean girls layout, so i might as well take full advantage of it.
think sarah's influencing me too much.
went shopping today at fox.
bought this hot pink racerback tank top.
made of horrible material..
that makes me look like some wrapped fushia dumpling.
oh well. it *was* on sale.
was supposed to do filing.. but pass that dutch was playing on the radio.. and i was thinking about lysis..
the temptation was just too hard to resist.
haha.
Sunday, August 29, 2004
lysis party today.
and crescent arts awareness day cum open house.
and french prelim orals.
so today was a wake up at 7am day, run to bishan for french exam..
which sucked by the way.
i totally screwed up my presentation.. and the examiner kept giving me the i-have-no-idea-what-you're-saying look.
and then there was the conversation. where he asked me what singapore's signature dessert was.
i said kaya.
and then he expected me to elaborate on it, cause he being a nice blur african expat had no idea what kaya was.
marvellous.
all i could come up with was that it was green.. or yellowish green.. and that it was made up of egg yolks..
and i obviously didn't know the word for yolk in french. so i just it said in english.
and then i said that sugar was added. and that we spread it on toast.
[for which i said spread and toast in english.. and sweet instead of sugar]
and then he decided to ask me to compare the lifestyles of signaporean and french youth.
and i made up some crap about singaporean kids being more stressed. and i wanted to say that the french might focus more on character development.. and it came out as the french place less, if not, no importance on education.
and then he asked what made singaporean kids stressed.
and i said the only word that i knew in french.
ccas.
and i said that we should just scrap it. actually, i was trying to say that we should scrap the point system. but guess i wasn't able to.
and then he asked if i was the minister of education, what would i change.
and i happily said that i would advocate ccas as they promote character development.
wonderful.
the only thing i could come up with for the whether girls should go to ns question was that it would make defence more "loud".
i meant to say strong. but i got latin and french mixed up.
this is what happens when piano and french coincide.
oh well. stupid quenot put my name as the first in the list and he made me come EARLY in the morning, cause he emialed me saying tha i had to be the first in the list.
and guess what. i was the last.
waited for the first shift to end, and was wondering why he didn't call me.
turns out i was made the last of the second batch.
i bet you he did it purposely just to piss me off.
like yesterday's lesson when he kept picking on me for talking. like 3 times.
i mean, honestly.. i can't talk to *myself* right? so why does he only call my name when he hears noise.
the third time he did that i screamed back.
and i was like "what the heck?! you're always picking on me.."
and what did he say?
"bien sur."
which means "of course."
how irritating.
then he came over to my table to confiscate a book that was lying on my table.
and i screamed again about him being biased. i was screaming to yv, but purposely made it loud enough for him to hear it.
and he said that i wasn't doing my work.
and i screamed back that the book he happily confiscated was the dictionary. and that he never gives me a chance.
and so he gave me back my dictionary.
stupid dick.
oh well. that was french orals.
stupid abs happily overslept again, so i went shopping for a while until she finally got changed.
got a nice notebook. and prevented myself from splurging on bodyshop's body glitter powder.
it was only $12.90..
argh.
but i resisted.
haha.
got a nice thick notebook instead for $3.60 with a boring empty cover. but i guess that's good since i'd probably get to do whatever i want with it.
and then i pulled myself away from shopping cause i didn't want to be late to meet abs.
who was still at home eating breakfast when i reached crescent.
hmph.
crescent was cool though.
getting better every year.
this time we had a dj competition.
never knew our juniors could dj.
the scratching was quite amateur..
but then again, who am i to talk?
the girl who picked up a guitar upside down and started strumming with her left hand.
and there was a dance marathon. stupid abs didnt want to join it with me.. haha. but i guess i wouldnt really be a good dancer anyway. and the fact that i was wearing the rj uniform didn't help much either.
and then there was the black box. where the juniors sabotaged me and abs to act in this impromptu game.
where we had to play lesbians.
how apt.
anyway, this time i had to play the mentally retarded boyfriend.
and at times we would pick up these lines from a box and read it out.
me: *picks up paper* fragile - please handle with care...
abs: *looks up lovingly* my name.. is anjali..
me: oh.. *looks away* that's a lovely name!
abs: *picks up paper* i love caffeine.
me: my name is caffeine!
abs: wow.. would you like to go for some caffeine?
me: *picks up paper* like a cow eats hay!
abs: alright let's go.. *picks up paper* jack and jill rolled down the hill..
me: *grabs abs' arm and skips off and bangs into a chair and tries to "roll down a hill"*
useless. haha.
but am really impressed with the new batch of lders.
very very impressed.
and really enjoyed the black box.
and ranon messaged me out of the blue demanding that i should join him at orchard cause he said he saw a shirt and was embarassed to buy it without a girl or something.
couldn't hear him properly over the dance music.
oh well.
mucked about crescent for a while.
got seng abs' keychain.
then had to rush off for french after that. but not before running into and out of the shower. and grabbing the nearest clothes to wear.
had french and then went for the lysis party straight after that at pine grove.
sophie brought vodka.
so yay. we had booze.
made a promise to myself that i wouldn't drink again.
especially after what happened.
so refused all forms of alcohol. even the wimpy bacardi with mountain spring water.
didn't even want one cup, mainly because if i agreed, i didn't trust myself to stop. and would end up cursing and climbing around the playground and trying to kill myself like zhong.
haha but it was amusing though.
haha. he's interesting when he's drunk.
weeg was a little drunk too.
mark and time turned super red. and started flailing their arms in the air.
but then again, half the time, we weren't sure whether they were drunk or just acting.
until they turned super red.
the boys were disgusting. they'd come up erally close and talk, and their breath just stank of alcohol and beer.
eurgh.
was trying to feed weeg a piece of my brownie when he was lying down on the slide..until he started laughing, and then all the *fumes* came out of his mouth and totally stank up my brownie.
so i just gave my piece to him.
suprisingly, the girls could hold their drinks well.
but bernice and smriti got a little tipsy.
stupid boys were fine in the beginning. until the started drinking and then got drunk.
hmph. oh well. it was fun.
but every time someone offered me a drink i had to refuse.
didn't want it to happen again.
and besides, i'm not one who holds her drinks well either.
didn't want to have someone having to take care of me 24/7 like how ranon had to babysit zhong.
haha. but zhong is hilarious when he's drunk.
to ranon: "why are you following me? there's only space for one person in the cubicle.."
and when i asked him whether he could spell his name backwards.. he spelt gniz nat.
and his name is not zing tan.
but the poor thing's going to wake up with a dead head tomorrow.
oh well.
went home with weeg, who was pretty sober.
haha. he's the most popular husband in shoot shag marry.
and i'm the choice for a lesbian one night stand.
how honourable.
and crescent arts awareness day cum open house.
and french prelim orals.
so today was a wake up at 7am day, run to bishan for french exam..
which sucked by the way.
i totally screwed up my presentation.. and the examiner kept giving me the i-have-no-idea-what-you're-saying look.
and then there was the conversation. where he asked me what singapore's signature dessert was.
i said kaya.
and then he expected me to elaborate on it, cause he being a nice blur african expat had no idea what kaya was.
marvellous.
all i could come up with was that it was green.. or yellowish green.. and that it was made up of egg yolks..
and i obviously didn't know the word for yolk in french. so i just it said in english.
and then i said that sugar was added. and that we spread it on toast.
[for which i said spread and toast in english.. and sweet instead of sugar]
and then he decided to ask me to compare the lifestyles of signaporean and french youth.
and i made up some crap about singaporean kids being more stressed. and i wanted to say that the french might focus more on character development.. and it came out as the french place less, if not, no importance on education.
and then he asked what made singaporean kids stressed.
and i said the only word that i knew in french.
ccas.
and i said that we should just scrap it. actually, i was trying to say that we should scrap the point system. but guess i wasn't able to.
and then he asked if i was the minister of education, what would i change.
and i happily said that i would advocate ccas as they promote character development.
wonderful.
the only thing i could come up with for the whether girls should go to ns question was that it would make defence more "loud".
i meant to say strong. but i got latin and french mixed up.
this is what happens when piano and french coincide.
oh well. stupid quenot put my name as the first in the list and he made me come EARLY in the morning, cause he emialed me saying tha i had to be the first in the list.
and guess what. i was the last.
waited for the first shift to end, and was wondering why he didn't call me.
turns out i was made the last of the second batch.
i bet you he did it purposely just to piss me off.
like yesterday's lesson when he kept picking on me for talking. like 3 times.
i mean, honestly.. i can't talk to *myself* right? so why does he only call my name when he hears noise.
the third time he did that i screamed back.
and i was like "what the heck?! you're always picking on me.."
and what did he say?
"bien sur."
which means "of course."
how irritating.
then he came over to my table to confiscate a book that was lying on my table.
and i screamed again about him being biased. i was screaming to yv, but purposely made it loud enough for him to hear it.
and he said that i wasn't doing my work.
and i screamed back that the book he happily confiscated was the dictionary. and that he never gives me a chance.
and so he gave me back my dictionary.
stupid dick.
oh well. that was french orals.
stupid abs happily overslept again, so i went shopping for a while until she finally got changed.
got a nice notebook. and prevented myself from splurging on bodyshop's body glitter powder.
it was only $12.90..
argh.
but i resisted.
haha.
got a nice thick notebook instead for $3.60 with a boring empty cover. but i guess that's good since i'd probably get to do whatever i want with it.
and then i pulled myself away from shopping cause i didn't want to be late to meet abs.
who was still at home eating breakfast when i reached crescent.
hmph.
crescent was cool though.
getting better every year.
this time we had a dj competition.
never knew our juniors could dj.
the scratching was quite amateur..
but then again, who am i to talk?
the girl who picked up a guitar upside down and started strumming with her left hand.
and there was a dance marathon. stupid abs didnt want to join it with me.. haha. but i guess i wouldnt really be a good dancer anyway. and the fact that i was wearing the rj uniform didn't help much either.
and then there was the black box. where the juniors sabotaged me and abs to act in this impromptu game.
where we had to play lesbians.
how apt.
anyway, this time i had to play the mentally retarded boyfriend.
and at times we would pick up these lines from a box and read it out.
me: *picks up paper* fragile - please handle with care...
abs: *looks up lovingly* my name.. is anjali..
me: oh.. *looks away* that's a lovely name!
abs: *picks up paper* i love caffeine.
me: my name is caffeine!
abs: wow.. would you like to go for some caffeine?
me: *picks up paper* like a cow eats hay!
abs: alright let's go.. *picks up paper* jack and jill rolled down the hill..
me: *grabs abs' arm and skips off and bangs into a chair and tries to "roll down a hill"*
useless. haha.
but am really impressed with the new batch of lders.
very very impressed.
and really enjoyed the black box.
and ranon messaged me out of the blue demanding that i should join him at orchard cause he said he saw a shirt and was embarassed to buy it without a girl or something.
couldn't hear him properly over the dance music.
oh well.
mucked about crescent for a while.
got seng abs' keychain.
then had to rush off for french after that. but not before running into and out of the shower. and grabbing the nearest clothes to wear.
had french and then went for the lysis party straight after that at pine grove.
sophie brought vodka.
so yay. we had booze.
made a promise to myself that i wouldn't drink again.
especially after what happened.
so refused all forms of alcohol. even the wimpy bacardi with mountain spring water.
didn't even want one cup, mainly because if i agreed, i didn't trust myself to stop. and would end up cursing and climbing around the playground and trying to kill myself like zhong.
haha but it was amusing though.
haha. he's interesting when he's drunk.
weeg was a little drunk too.
mark and time turned super red. and started flailing their arms in the air.
but then again, half the time, we weren't sure whether they were drunk or just acting.
until they turned super red.
the boys were disgusting. they'd come up erally close and talk, and their breath just stank of alcohol and beer.
eurgh.
was trying to feed weeg a piece of my brownie when he was lying down on the slide..until he started laughing, and then all the *fumes* came out of his mouth and totally stank up my brownie.
so i just gave my piece to him.
suprisingly, the girls could hold their drinks well.
but bernice and smriti got a little tipsy.
stupid boys were fine in the beginning. until the started drinking and then got drunk.
hmph. oh well. it was fun.
but every time someone offered me a drink i had to refuse.
didn't want it to happen again.
and besides, i'm not one who holds her drinks well either.
didn't want to have someone having to take care of me 24/7 like how ranon had to babysit zhong.
haha. but zhong is hilarious when he's drunk.
to ranon: "why are you following me? there's only space for one person in the cubicle.."
and when i asked him whether he could spell his name backwards.. he spelt gniz nat.
and his name is not zing tan.
but the poor thing's going to wake up with a dead head tomorrow.
oh well.
went home with weeg, who was pretty sober.
haha. he's the most popular husband in shoot shag marry.
and i'm the choice for a lesbian one night stand.
how honourable.
Saturday, August 28, 2004
it's days like these that make me want to go back and thump my head against the wall for as long as possible.
not that that would change anything, anyway.
sat in during 2ao1b's lit lesson today.
and it seemed fun.
lit's like ice cream.
someone offers it to you.. and then you deny.. thinking.. oh no.. it's too fattening.. and i might not be good at it.. i'll die if i eat it..
and then you're surrounded by all your friends.. with ice cream.. enjoying yourself and then scream at yourself for not just accepting it, no matter how much o f a risk it might be.
oh well. abs and i have concluded that there's something weird with ra.
haha.
we ponned bio lecture to proofread issue 2 and do all the necessary editing. and then we're struggling with pagemaker.. and i relly wished that i had paid more attention when seng taught us that.. and then i was screaming.." where's sengteck when you need him?"
and then he comes in.
haha.
how weird.
and this time we nearly said the same thing at the same time..
macs: in 5 minutes.. you will realise how great this poem is and i'll start hearing wows..
me: *opens mouth to say wow*
seng: woooooooooooow..
me: *shuts mouth*
macs: who said wow? *to me* you're not even in this class.
me: but.. it wasn't me... it was seeeeng..
class: *laughs*
macs: you put him up to it didn't you?
me: nooooo...
and abs was hysterical in the corner cause she saw me open and then suddenly shut my mouth.
not that that would change anything, anyway.
sat in during 2ao1b's lit lesson today.
and it seemed fun.
lit's like ice cream.
someone offers it to you.. and then you deny.. thinking.. oh no.. it's too fattening.. and i might not be good at it.. i'll die if i eat it..
and then you're surrounded by all your friends.. with ice cream.. enjoying yourself and then scream at yourself for not just accepting it, no matter how much o f a risk it might be.
oh well. abs and i have concluded that there's something weird with ra.
haha.
we ponned bio lecture to proofread issue 2 and do all the necessary editing. and then we're struggling with pagemaker.. and i relly wished that i had paid more attention when seng taught us that.. and then i was screaming.." where's sengteck when you need him?"
and then he comes in.
haha.
how weird.
and this time we nearly said the same thing at the same time..
macs: in 5 minutes.. you will realise how great this poem is and i'll start hearing wows..
me: *opens mouth to say wow*
seng: woooooooooooow..
me: *shuts mouth*
macs: who said wow? *to me* you're not even in this class.
me: but.. it wasn't me... it was seeeeng..
class: *laughs*
macs: you put him up to it didn't you?
me: nooooo...
and abs was hysterical in the corner cause she saw me open and then suddenly shut my mouth.
Friday, August 27, 2004
shiver.
the room is cold.
it's past midnight.
i leave the air conditioner on, go take a shower.. and come back to my room dripping.
and freezing.
and the lazy bum in me just slumps in front of the computer to blog, still dripping with water and freezing in her towel with droplets on her specs..
i really need discipline.
really.
fell asleep during today's chem lecture.
at first it was jus me lying on yus' shoulder and it was nice and comfy.. and the lecturer is droning on about ionic solubility..
half an hour later the lecturer screams into the mic to all the sleeping students to wake up.
and i had such a good sleep that i was actually dreaming.
the lt is actually quite comfortable to fall asleep in. when the people in front of you allow you to prop up your legs on the bar next to them and lean back.
and i take back what i said about her.
she's not a bitch.
and i feel really bad.
oh well.
the room is cold.
it's past midnight.
i leave the air conditioner on, go take a shower.. and come back to my room dripping.
and freezing.
and the lazy bum in me just slumps in front of the computer to blog, still dripping with water and freezing in her towel with droplets on her specs..
i really need discipline.
really.
fell asleep during today's chem lecture.
at first it was jus me lying on yus' shoulder and it was nice and comfy.. and the lecturer is droning on about ionic solubility..
half an hour later the lecturer screams into the mic to all the sleeping students to wake up.
and i had such a good sleep that i was actually dreaming.
the lt is actually quite comfortable to fall asleep in. when the people in front of you allow you to prop up your legs on the bar next to them and lean back.
and i take back what i said about her.
she's not a bitch.
and i feel really bad.
oh well.
Wednesday, August 25, 2004
pw minutes and annotations due.
which obviously take precedence over my test grades, since she wants it in tomorrow. so that she can be happy and get her perfect grade for pw.
but of course, the bitch doesn't really care about my maths grades. at the most, she'll just care about hers.
ra's article on rj's top 10 bachelors was due 5 hours ago.
i haven't started.
i haven't even chosen 10 bachelors.
let alone gotten down to asking them whether they are bachelors.
might have something to do with the fact that i might not even find enough people to make the list.
i personally feel that none of the bachelors on the tentative list deserve to be in it.
but then again, this isn't "anjali's top 10 bachelors" anyway.
so the popular guys with the great bods, dead smiles and superinflated egos will be next issues centerfold.
don't blame me. i just write what people want to read. and feature people that people want to see.
but i guess i should put my foot down, and like choose people that i actually want.
after all it *is* my list.
but 10 is such a huge number.
french exam starts in little more than 35 hours.
hmph.
---
1:55am: the mathematical induction notes beckon - a lecture test tomorrow, another next week.
carpe diem has gone out of the window, all the better i suppose since if i could seize the day, i would grip it round the neck and throttle it.
which obviously take precedence over my test grades, since she wants it in tomorrow. so that she can be happy and get her perfect grade for pw.
but of course, the bitch doesn't really care about my maths grades. at the most, she'll just care about hers.
ra's article on rj's top 10 bachelors was due 5 hours ago.
i haven't started.
i haven't even chosen 10 bachelors.
let alone gotten down to asking them whether they are bachelors.
might have something to do with the fact that i might not even find enough people to make the list.
i personally feel that none of the bachelors on the tentative list deserve to be in it.
but then again, this isn't "anjali's top 10 bachelors" anyway.
so the popular guys with the great bods, dead smiles and superinflated egos will be next issues centerfold.
don't blame me. i just write what people want to read. and feature people that people want to see.
but i guess i should put my foot down, and like choose people that i actually want.
after all it *is* my list.
but 10 is such a huge number.
french exam starts in little more than 35 hours.
hmph.
---
1:55am: the mathematical induction notes beckon - a lecture test tomorrow, another next week.
carpe diem has gone out of the window, all the better i suppose since if i could seize the day, i would grip it round the neck and throttle it.
Tuesday, August 24, 2004
sick and tired of this world
there's no more air
tripping over myself
going nowhere
waiting
suffocating
no direction
and i took a dive
and on the way down
i saw you
and you saved me from myself
and i won't forget the way you loved me
on the way down
i almost fell right through
but i held on to you
i've been wondering why
it's only me
have you always been inside
waiting to breathe
it's alright
sunlight
on my face
i wake up
and yeah,
i'm alive
i was so afraid
of going under
but now the weight of the world
feels like nothing.
Down
you're all i wanted
you're all i needed
and i won't forget the way you loved me
all that I wanted
all that I needed
down
but I held on to you.
there's no more air
tripping over myself
going nowhere
waiting
suffocating
no direction
and i took a dive
and on the way down
i saw you
and you saved me from myself
and i won't forget the way you loved me
on the way down
i almost fell right through
but i held on to you
i've been wondering why
it's only me
have you always been inside
waiting to breathe
it's alright
sunlight
on my face
i wake up
and yeah,
i'm alive
i was so afraid
of going under
but now the weight of the world
feels like nothing.
Down
you're all i wanted
you're all i needed
and i won't forget the way you loved me
all that I wanted
all that I needed
down
but I held on to you.
Monday, August 23, 2004
Saturday, August 21, 2004
flowers collected after lysis opening night.
thanks a lot for those who came to watch.
and those who brought flowers. you guys are sweet.
lysis was fun.
all the pretty jewellery..
hanging around backstage freezing my bum off..
dancing like an idiot..
tearing my skirt..
and being half blind..
well it is more fun than it sounds.
and that was only during the performance.
met a whole new bunch of people.. and became closer to people that i didn't know so well before..
learnt how to climb over the school gate.
somehow i no longer regret it.
and maybe i should thank vid for dragging me into it.
Wednesday, August 11, 2004
9 days to lysis.
somebody help me.
i'm half wondering whether this whole thing would even pull through.
it's not really useful knowing that the piano exam's on the same day, just 4 hours earlier, 94857295782 km away.
it's going to be some mad rush. running from school to that place to the stage.
and i still don't even know what the hell f# minors are like.
or diminshed seventh chords.
or any of the aural components.
i keep thinking that i'm going to make a complete fool
lysis night.
bah.
went through 4 years of crescent, not screwing things up *that* badly..
it's a whole new meaning now.
oh well.
got home around 9-ish.
wasted time watching singapore idol, girl interrupted and room raiders on mtv.
have homework that is 89279357295 days due.
tutors are coming in tomorrow to kill me.
have resorted to copying again.
i have maths gp, econs and chem all due tomorrow.
wonderful.
somebody just shoot me.
somebody help me.
i'm half wondering whether this whole thing would even pull through.
it's not really useful knowing that the piano exam's on the same day, just 4 hours earlier, 94857295782 km away.
it's going to be some mad rush. running from school to that place to the stage.
and i still don't even know what the hell f# minors are like.
or diminshed seventh chords.
or any of the aural components.
i keep thinking that i'm going to make a complete fool
lysis night.
bah.
went through 4 years of crescent, not screwing things up *that* badly..
it's a whole new meaning now.
oh well.
got home around 9-ish.
wasted time watching singapore idol, girl interrupted and room raiders on mtv.
have homework that is 89279357295 days due.
tutors are coming in tomorrow to kill me.
have resorted to copying again.
i have maths gp, econs and chem all due tomorrow.
wonderful.
somebody just shoot me.
Tuesday, August 10, 2004
10 days to lysis.
wow.
can we really even pull this off?
spent today at school from about 9 to around 8.
and being a public holiday, they happily locked all the gates to rj.
so we were pretty much locked in.
and these parents who were outside were staring at me.
so i had to scale the gate.
and got scratched along the way.
don't laugh.
some people have never climbed over a gate before.
haha.
yes, you probably think i'm a wimp.
but hey.
atleast i was wearing pants.
it would have just been obscene if i was wearing the school skirt.
and my parents were waiting for me outside.
luckily they were too far away to see anything.
well at least now i have the experience of being locked in school and being able to climb gates.
and the muscles gained from moving lt chairs gave me enough arm strength to take my entire weight down.
but not up.
i had to do the horribly clumsy climb up, and the one leg over thing.
haha. i'm just blogging incessantly.
[but that's why you love me, right?]
school tomorrow.
how crappy.
tamil two days in a row.
and it's econs day tomorrow.
4 whole periods of econs.
and gp.
and bio tutorial.
and TAMIL.
at least i only have 3 more days till the weekend.
all the screaming and cheering should pay off.
cheerleading competition tomorrow.
yay.
wow.
can we really even pull this off?
spent today at school from about 9 to around 8.
and being a public holiday, they happily locked all the gates to rj.
so we were pretty much locked in.
and these parents who were outside were staring at me.
so i had to scale the gate.
and got scratched along the way.
don't laugh.
some people have never climbed over a gate before.
haha.
yes, you probably think i'm a wimp.
but hey.
atleast i was wearing pants.
it would have just been obscene if i was wearing the school skirt.
and my parents were waiting for me outside.
luckily they were too far away to see anything.
well at least now i have the experience of being locked in school and being able to climb gates.
and the muscles gained from moving lt chairs gave me enough arm strength to take my entire weight down.
but not up.
i had to do the horribly clumsy climb up, and the one leg over thing.
haha. i'm just blogging incessantly.
[but that's why you love me, right?]
school tomorrow.
how crappy.
tamil two days in a row.
and it's econs day tomorrow.
4 whole periods of econs.
and gp.
and bio tutorial.
and TAMIL.
at least i only have 3 more days till the weekend.
all the screaming and cheering should pay off.
cheerleading competition tomorrow.
yay.
Monday, August 09, 2004
Dice.
I was crying over you
I am smiling I think if you
Where your garden have no walls
Breathe in the air if you care, you compare, don't say farewell
Nothing can compare
To when you roll the dice and you swear that your love's for me
Nothing can compare
To when you roll the dice and you swear that your love's for me
I was crying over you
I am smiling I think if you
Misty morning and water falls
Breathe in the air if you care, you compare, don't say farewell
Nothing can compare
To when you roll the dice and you swear your love's for me
Nothing can compare
To when you roll the dice and you swear your love's for me
Nothing can compare
To when you roll the dice and you swear your love's for me
Virtuous sensibility
Escape velocity
Nothing can compare
To when you roll the dice and you swear your love's for me
Nothing can compare
To when you roll the dice and you swear your love's for me
Nothing can compare
To when you roll the dice and you swear your love's for me
Breathe in the air if you care, you compare, don't say farewell
Nothing.
- finley quaye feat william orbit
first heard this song while watching the oc.
pretty much proves the fact that the oc soundtrack rocks.
the song's so mellow.. lullaby-ish, almost zero 7 sounding.
the kind you just sit back and stare into space with.
and i'd give up forever to touch you
cause i know that you feel me somehow
you're the closest to heaven that i'll ever be
and i don't want to go home right now
and all i can taste is this moment
all i can breathe is your life
cause sooner or later it's over
i just don't want to miss you tonight
and i don't want the world to see me
cause i don't think that they'd understand
when everything's made to be broken
i just want you to know who I am
and you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
or the moment of truth in your lies
when everything feels like the movies
yeah, you'd bleed just to know you're alive
and i don't want the world to see me
cause i don't think that they'd understand
when everything's made to be broken
i just want you to know who i am
i just want you to know who i am.
-iris.
i love this song.
it's 3am.
happy birthday singapore.
cause i know that you feel me somehow
you're the closest to heaven that i'll ever be
and i don't want to go home right now
and all i can taste is this moment
all i can breathe is your life
cause sooner or later it's over
i just don't want to miss you tonight
and i don't want the world to see me
cause i don't think that they'd understand
when everything's made to be broken
i just want you to know who I am
and you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
or the moment of truth in your lies
when everything feels like the movies
yeah, you'd bleed just to know you're alive
and i don't want the world to see me
cause i don't think that they'd understand
when everything's made to be broken
i just want you to know who i am
i just want you to know who i am.
-iris.
i love this song.
it's 3am.
happy birthday singapore.
am back to my couch potato lifestyle of sleep and tv.
the truman show's on tv now.
just finished watching city of angels.
a nice movie, that.
and the rents have found out.
to say that they're not very happy would be an understatement.
mom talks about it more. how they are totally against it.
"he's not of a good social standing."
for once, i feel sorry for gee.
and sorry for myself.
that we're both stuck in this "social status" crap.
who she wants is her own choice.
and whoever i want would be mine.
it's hard enough to find someone out there you want to spend your entire life with.
but to make sure that he's 'at least of the same social standing'?
please.
that's like trying to make your 6 inch high manolo blahniks your bedroom slippers.
and i really feel for her.
i mean, she's been hiding it for 8 months.
and in the end, she tells me.
quite honoured that she would actually tell me over the rents.
but then again, i am probably the most open one.
and she, being the older one has to go through this first.
and i guess all i can do is support her.
although i am a little apprehensive about this..
i know this must sound mean, but it is quite relieving to find out that miss perfect actually screwed up.
ok, not screwed up.
if the rents were accomodating people who looked past materialistic discrepancies, none of this would have happened.
but then again, theirs was a marriage built on materialistic demands. so i don't see how they could think otherwise.
something tells me that in 9 years, i'd be facing the exact same thing.
maybe even earlier.
but for now, all i can do is stand behind gee.
for all the crap she has put up for me, this is probably the least that i could do.
the truman show's on tv now.
just finished watching city of angels.
a nice movie, that.
and the rents have found out.
to say that they're not very happy would be an understatement.
mom talks about it more. how they are totally against it.
"he's not of a good social standing."
for once, i feel sorry for gee.
and sorry for myself.
that we're both stuck in this "social status" crap.
who she wants is her own choice.
and whoever i want would be mine.
it's hard enough to find someone out there you want to spend your entire life with.
but to make sure that he's 'at least of the same social standing'?
please.
that's like trying to make your 6 inch high manolo blahniks your bedroom slippers.
and i really feel for her.
i mean, she's been hiding it for 8 months.
and in the end, she tells me.
quite honoured that she would actually tell me over the rents.
but then again, i am probably the most open one.
and she, being the older one has to go through this first.
and i guess all i can do is support her.
although i am a little apprehensive about this..
i know this must sound mean, but it is quite relieving to find out that miss perfect actually screwed up.
ok, not screwed up.
if the rents were accomodating people who looked past materialistic discrepancies, none of this would have happened.
but then again, theirs was a marriage built on materialistic demands. so i don't see how they could think otherwise.
something tells me that in 9 years, i'd be facing the exact same thing.
maybe even earlier.
but for now, all i can do is stand behind gee.
for all the crap she has put up for me, this is probably the least that i could do.
Like anyone would be
I am flattered by your fascination with me
Like any hot-blooded woman
I have simply wanted an object to crave
But you, you're not allowed
You're uninvited
An unfortunate slight
Must be strangely exciting
To watch the stoic squirm
Must be somewhat heartening
To watch shepherd need shepherd
But you you're not allowed
You're uninvited
An unfortunate slight
Like any uncharted territory
I must seem greatly intriguing
You speak of my love like
You have experienced love like mine before
But this is not allowed
You're uninvited
An unfortunate slight
I don't think you unworthy
I need a moment to deliberate
-alanis morisette.
Sunday, August 08, 2004
am damn tired today.
haha.
but it was worth it i guess.
the j2s really enjoyed it today.
and that's what made it all worth it.
especially today, before the party when everything was going wrong, and everyone was calling me during french class.. and i just wanted to scream.. one whole month of planning... making reservations at pizzahut only for them to tell me that they don't do reservations one day after.. hoping the useless cake would finally take shape.. trying to squash all their names together in icing into one circle.. running around jelita looking for candles and whatnots.. coming to school in cvs looking for tealights.. and begging jo to let me buy the interact ones from her.. getting hot wax everywhere.. and relighting the candles over and over again after the wind kept blowing them out.. and trying to keep stalling the j2s.. haha. that was the funniest part..
weeg: eh.. they want to come now..
me: NO.. stall them!
weeg: how?!
me: i don't know.. go to the toilet..
later..
weeg: i'm in the toilet now..
me: good.. stay there longer..
weeg: i've been here for a real long time..
me: say you're constipated or something.. stay there long enough for them to come looking for you..
weeg: ...
even later..
weeg: eh.. we're here..
abs: eh.. they're here..
me: WHAT DO YOU MEAN "THEY'RE HERE"?! ASK THEM TO GO AWAY..
weeg: how?
abs: how?
me: aiyah.. tell them they have to go look for us.. here's a riddle.. one of us is scalded.. another is burnt and one's bleeding.. try to find us.. but whatever you do don't bring them to where we are..
wai keong: *grabs phone away from weeg* if you don't tell us where you are now, we'll kill weeg!
abs: *laughs uncontrollably extinguishing more candles..*
later:
seng: anjali... they're leaving..
me: NOOO.. seeeeng.. you can't let them leave..
seng: how? they've stood up already..
me: stall theeeem..
should really thank seng teck la..
he's been like our spy in everything..
haha. like some big korkor.
haha.
seng kor.
*waves*
and when they finally came we gave up and brought them in one by one to see their names in lights.
grumble.
238 candles.
each candle had to be lit like 17 times because of the wind..
so that's like 45729529572956 wicks i had to pick up.
but they were really touched.
just too bad that they didn't cry.
could tell some of them were going to.
they promised us that they would go home and cry when they would be all alone.
haha.
"aiyah.. so macho for what? cry in front of us la.."
and abs, joyce and i were cursing like every time a candle went out..
me: eh.. why is my hand red? we don;t have red wax..
joyce: you're bleeding..!
me: oh $&#$^#. oi. j2s had better be so touched they cry la.. get scratched by the cheap brand metal cause of them.. if they don't cry i'll slap them until they cry..
abs: *laughs uncontrollably again*
trying to pull out the wicks from the candles only to have the metal scratch my skin and make it bleed is no joke k?
but the guys really liked it. they each took one candle home.
yay.
i really hope they won't forget today.
haha. like how elgin and wai keong found out about the cake.
after the stupid waiter came up to me and was like.. "madam.. would you like your cake to be kept in the fridge?"
i was about to slap him.
but i'm seriously going to miss the j2s.
like a whole lot.
we weren't really that close as a cca.
as in, certainj1s were close to certain j2s, but it was never a whole j1 close to j2 thing.
hopefully, today with our running around the playground reliving our kiddy life we got closer.
we were real monkeys.
haha.
i hated the fact that i was wearing a skirt.
to have virtually no movement at all..
abs looked really pretty today too.
so jealous..
haha.
but if any of the j2s read this post, i just want to say that you guys rock.
cause we seriously wouldn't have put so much effort into today if you guys weren't worth it.
and today was a whole lot of fun.
never laughed so hard before.
like how dedrick went.."are these candles rechargeable?"
and how he was helplessly stuck spinning around and around on the spinning thing after they pushed him so hard he couldn't stop.. and just spun round and round wailing..
haha.
haha.
but it was worth it i guess.
the j2s really enjoyed it today.
and that's what made it all worth it.
especially today, before the party when everything was going wrong, and everyone was calling me during french class.. and i just wanted to scream.. one whole month of planning... making reservations at pizzahut only for them to tell me that they don't do reservations one day after.. hoping the useless cake would finally take shape.. trying to squash all their names together in icing into one circle.. running around jelita looking for candles and whatnots.. coming to school in cvs looking for tealights.. and begging jo to let me buy the interact ones from her.. getting hot wax everywhere.. and relighting the candles over and over again after the wind kept blowing them out.. and trying to keep stalling the j2s.. haha. that was the funniest part..
weeg: eh.. they want to come now..
me: NO.. stall them!
weeg: how?!
me: i don't know.. go to the toilet..
later..
weeg: i'm in the toilet now..
me: good.. stay there longer..
weeg: i've been here for a real long time..
me: say you're constipated or something.. stay there long enough for them to come looking for you..
weeg: ...
even later..
weeg: eh.. we're here..
abs: eh.. they're here..
me: WHAT DO YOU MEAN "THEY'RE HERE"?! ASK THEM TO GO AWAY..
weeg: how?
abs: how?
me: aiyah.. tell them they have to go look for us.. here's a riddle.. one of us is scalded.. another is burnt and one's bleeding.. try to find us.. but whatever you do don't bring them to where we are..
wai keong: *grabs phone away from weeg* if you don't tell us where you are now, we'll kill weeg!
abs: *laughs uncontrollably extinguishing more candles..*
later:
seng: anjali... they're leaving..
me: NOOO.. seeeeng.. you can't let them leave..
seng: how? they've stood up already..
me: stall theeeem..
should really thank seng teck la..
he's been like our spy in everything..
haha. like some big korkor.
haha.
seng kor.
*waves*
and when they finally came we gave up and brought them in one by one to see their names in lights.
grumble.
238 candles.
each candle had to be lit like 17 times because of the wind..
so that's like 45729529572956 wicks i had to pick up.
but they were really touched.
just too bad that they didn't cry.
could tell some of them were going to.
they promised us that they would go home and cry when they would be all alone.
haha.
"aiyah.. so macho for what? cry in front of us la.."
and abs, joyce and i were cursing like every time a candle went out..
me: eh.. why is my hand red? we don;t have red wax..
joyce: you're bleeding..!
me: oh $&#$^#. oi. j2s had better be so touched they cry la.. get scratched by the cheap brand metal cause of them.. if they don't cry i'll slap them until they cry..
abs: *laughs uncontrollably again*
trying to pull out the wicks from the candles only to have the metal scratch my skin and make it bleed is no joke k?
but the guys really liked it. they each took one candle home.
yay.
i really hope they won't forget today.
haha. like how elgin and wai keong found out about the cake.
after the stupid waiter came up to me and was like.. "madam.. would you like your cake to be kept in the fridge?"
i was about to slap him.
but i'm seriously going to miss the j2s.
like a whole lot.
we weren't really that close as a cca.
as in, certainj1s were close to certain j2s, but it was never a whole j1 close to j2 thing.
hopefully, today with our running around the playground reliving our kiddy life we got closer.
we were real monkeys.
haha.
i hated the fact that i was wearing a skirt.
to have virtually no movement at all..
abs looked really pretty today too.
so jealous..
haha.
but if any of the j2s read this post, i just want to say that you guys rock.
cause we seriously wouldn't have put so much effort into today if you guys weren't worth it.
and today was a whole lot of fun.
never laughed so hard before.
like how dedrick went.."are these candles rechargeable?"
and how he was helplessly stuck spinning around and around on the spinning thing after they pushed him so hard he couldn't stop.. and just spun round and round wailing..
haha.
Wednesday, August 04, 2004
watching home made videos today.
a guy once told me that when girls get together, they'll always end up bitching.
i don't know about always.. but here's proof. quite amusing, actually.
4 girls are sitting at a table in a semi posh restaurant having lunch.. twirling their forks..
girl #1 has the camera and starts filming everyone. girl #2 and girl #4 are oblivious..
girl #2: but i don't know whether i should tell you.. or not.. maybe i should tell #3 then like ask her to judge whether i should tell you.. or not..
girl #1: just spill it.
girl #2: you know A right.. [A was the guy who used to be head over heels with girl #3] well.. B likes A.. *raises eyebrow*
girl #3: oh yeah. i know.
girl #2: but A doesnt like B.
girl #3: haha. i know. and i think he hates her. he called her a ********.
(everyone laughs)
girl #2: but who would like B anyway.. or A for that matter..
girl #3: is that why he's where he is.. because she likes him so she made sure that he was somewhere near her?
girl #2: haha. how obvious could it get. it's quite disgusting actually. one because it's A. two because it's B. three because it's like so political.
girl #1: how could anyone like A in the first place.
girl #2: exactly.. A's so disgusting..
girl #4: eh.. i think...
girl #3: [cuts her off] but B called A a ***** after that right?
girl #2: haha. she's probably bitter after he dumped her.. i mean c'mon.. you have to feel really bad for yourself for falling for A in the first place.. and then having A dump you.. man, that's just pathetic.
girl #4: eh..
[everyone ignores her..]
girl #1: [points camera towards herself..] this is so bitchy.. someone get me out of here..
girl #4: eh.. [points at #2's photo] nice shirt right?
girl #2: [looks over] whose? mine or hers?
girl #4: obviously yours right?! hers is just so.. boring..
girl #1: [points camera at #3] #3! what do you think of A.
girl #3: A is.. aiyah.. but B is just.. she's a bit.. B is... well.. B.. i don't want to say.
girl #2: i know you want to say it la. B just sucks.
girl #3: eh.. B might just see this, you know..
girl #1: [to camera] to avoid this biased point of view, please ignore #2. [puts camera in front of #2's face..]
girl #2: [waves at camera] hello B.. i know you think i don't mind you and that i might like you.. but actually, i can't stand you...[smiles and continues waving..]
girl #3: wow. revelation of the year... since when did you not like her?
girl #2: since that time when she started wearing make up and thinking that she was so damn hot and like barking at everyone for not following her orders..
girl #4: eh..
girl #2: but everyone wanted to rip that cheap foundation off her face.
girl #4: eh this is so cute..
girl #1: [to the camera..] everyone, please ignore #4.
and then the memory is used up and the video stops.
like some outake of mean girls.
rich kids bitching about people.. while sitting in a restaurant.. drinking fraps and eating konniyaku jelly.
a guy once told me that when girls get together, they'll always end up bitching.
i don't know about always.. but here's proof. quite amusing, actually.
4 girls are sitting at a table in a semi posh restaurant having lunch.. twirling their forks..
girl #1 has the camera and starts filming everyone. girl #2 and girl #4 are oblivious..
girl #2: but i don't know whether i should tell you.. or not.. maybe i should tell #3 then like ask her to judge whether i should tell you.. or not..
girl #1: just spill it.
girl #2: you know A right.. [A was the guy who used to be head over heels with girl #3] well.. B likes A.. *raises eyebrow*
girl #3: oh yeah. i know.
girl #2: but A doesnt like B.
girl #3: haha. i know. and i think he hates her. he called her a ********.
(everyone laughs)
girl #2: but who would like B anyway.. or A for that matter..
girl #3: is that why he's where he is.. because she likes him so she made sure that he was somewhere near her?
girl #2: haha. how obvious could it get. it's quite disgusting actually. one because it's A. two because it's B. three because it's like so political.
girl #1: how could anyone like A in the first place.
girl #2: exactly.. A's so disgusting..
girl #4: eh.. i think...
girl #3: [cuts her off] but B called A a ***** after that right?
girl #2: haha. she's probably bitter after he dumped her.. i mean c'mon.. you have to feel really bad for yourself for falling for A in the first place.. and then having A dump you.. man, that's just pathetic.
girl #4: eh..
[everyone ignores her..]
girl #1: [points camera towards herself..] this is so bitchy.. someone get me out of here..
girl #4: eh.. [points at #2's photo] nice shirt right?
girl #2: [looks over] whose? mine or hers?
girl #4: obviously yours right?! hers is just so.. boring..
girl #1: [points camera at #3] #3! what do you think of A.
girl #3: A is.. aiyah.. but B is just.. she's a bit.. B is... well.. B.. i don't want to say.
girl #2: i know you want to say it la. B just sucks.
girl #3: eh.. B might just see this, you know..
girl #1: [to camera] to avoid this biased point of view, please ignore #2. [puts camera in front of #2's face..]
girl #2: [waves at camera] hello B.. i know you think i don't mind you and that i might like you.. but actually, i can't stand you...[smiles and continues waving..]
girl #3: wow. revelation of the year... since when did you not like her?
girl #2: since that time when she started wearing make up and thinking that she was so damn hot and like barking at everyone for not following her orders..
girl #4: eh..
girl #2: but everyone wanted to rip that cheap foundation off her face.
girl #4: eh this is so cute..
girl #1: [to the camera..] everyone, please ignore #4.
and then the memory is used up and the video stops.
like some outake of mean girls.
rich kids bitching about people.. while sitting in a restaurant.. drinking fraps and eating konniyaku jelly.
Tuesday, August 03, 2004
it's times like these worth taking the long way home.
met up with old friends today. did a lot of talking on the way home.
walked all the way from holland v.
and then sat at the bus stop waiting for their bus to come.
i miss the times back in crescent when gwen and i would walk all the way down tanglin road, pass the embassies all the way down until we reach jelita.. then walk around the supermarket stealing all the free samples to "recharge" and then buy a fresh, juicy peach each and continue the long walk home.
it's seems really simple.. but those were some really deep moments.
and that's the thing about gwen and pea. they're the kind of people that make me think.. deeper.
the kind of deep conversation that i have been neglecting ever since coming to rj.
it's always whether i want chicken or tuna spaghetti.. nydc or swensen's for dessert.. the nikes or skechers for school.. and whether butane is a polar molecule.
but somehow tonight was about a totally different thing. putting things into perspective. and i've realised that i've changed a whole lot.
even pea said it.
it's like we haven't even spoken to each other for a month.
haha. and i've become more motherly.
like for pea when she wanted to buy a mocha frap and i kept screaming at her that too much caffeine is bad for her, especially when she JUST had a mocha frap with dinner half an hour ago at the cafe.
and i've started second guessing my choices a lot more. and taking things into perspective.
like how i might not be in the right place.
in all seriousness, what rj does is to get smart people "who form the top 5% of the nation's cohort" make them waste two years of their life in that lifeless place... and then make a big deal when the top 5% does better than the other schools in singapore.
i've said it before, i'll say it again.
crescent's so much better compared to this.
they take someone like me in, with one the the lowest psle scores in the school.. and make her get into the top jc.
that's what should be commended.
we all know that rj doesnt live up to its name.
sure, we are the top school.
but we get the top students, who by their natural talent, get the top prizes.
nothing new.
the most disappointing thing is probably the teachers.
somehow i don't think the rj ones would have made that much of an impact in my life.
the crescent teachers did a lot. they moulded me, pretty much.
but that's me digressing.
sometimes i wonder what happened to me.
have changed so much in these past 8 months.
yet i feel totally wasted.
it's like i've done nothing with them.
i'm totally lost with school stuff.
and every 11 hours in school is spent wasting it away.
talking about useless things to people.
not paying attention to lessons.
not that i could, anyway.. the people here are too smart for me.. and the teachers go way too fast.
i don't know whether it's influence or something.
after all, the first thing people ask me when i tell them that i'm from rj is whether the rumours are true.
and i don't know how to answer.
pea can only describe rj in one word: pretentious.
and sure, there are the whole gang of bitches who bitch behind your back.
but you get that everywhere.
and everyone has done some form of bitching.
and the rumours about that school and those people.
i don't know.
it's certainly not all of them.. one of them is one of my closest friends.
but i've realised that the bitchiest ones do come from that school.
and to think we were all together as innocent 6 year olds.
i guess i'm just the same naive person that pea said i was.
maybe.
but today was fun.
we should really do it again.
met up with old friends today. did a lot of talking on the way home.
walked all the way from holland v.
and then sat at the bus stop waiting for their bus to come.
i miss the times back in crescent when gwen and i would walk all the way down tanglin road, pass the embassies all the way down until we reach jelita.. then walk around the supermarket stealing all the free samples to "recharge" and then buy a fresh, juicy peach each and continue the long walk home.
it's seems really simple.. but those were some really deep moments.
and that's the thing about gwen and pea. they're the kind of people that make me think.. deeper.
the kind of deep conversation that i have been neglecting ever since coming to rj.
it's always whether i want chicken or tuna spaghetti.. nydc or swensen's for dessert.. the nikes or skechers for school.. and whether butane is a polar molecule.
but somehow tonight was about a totally different thing. putting things into perspective. and i've realised that i've changed a whole lot.
even pea said it.
it's like we haven't even spoken to each other for a month.
haha. and i've become more motherly.
like for pea when she wanted to buy a mocha frap and i kept screaming at her that too much caffeine is bad for her, especially when she JUST had a mocha frap with dinner half an hour ago at the cafe.
and i've started second guessing my choices a lot more. and taking things into perspective.
like how i might not be in the right place.
in all seriousness, what rj does is to get smart people "who form the top 5% of the nation's cohort" make them waste two years of their life in that lifeless place... and then make a big deal when the top 5% does better than the other schools in singapore.
i've said it before, i'll say it again.
crescent's so much better compared to this.
they take someone like me in, with one the the lowest psle scores in the school.. and make her get into the top jc.
that's what should be commended.
we all know that rj doesnt live up to its name.
sure, we are the top school.
but we get the top students, who by their natural talent, get the top prizes.
nothing new.
the most disappointing thing is probably the teachers.
somehow i don't think the rj ones would have made that much of an impact in my life.
the crescent teachers did a lot. they moulded me, pretty much.
but that's me digressing.
sometimes i wonder what happened to me.
have changed so much in these past 8 months.
yet i feel totally wasted.
it's like i've done nothing with them.
i'm totally lost with school stuff.
and every 11 hours in school is spent wasting it away.
talking about useless things to people.
not paying attention to lessons.
not that i could, anyway.. the people here are too smart for me.. and the teachers go way too fast.
i don't know whether it's influence or something.
after all, the first thing people ask me when i tell them that i'm from rj is whether the rumours are true.
and i don't know how to answer.
pea can only describe rj in one word: pretentious.
and sure, there are the whole gang of bitches who bitch behind your back.
but you get that everywhere.
and everyone has done some form of bitching.
and the rumours about that school and those people.
i don't know.
it's certainly not all of them.. one of them is one of my closest friends.
but i've realised that the bitchiest ones do come from that school.
and to think we were all together as innocent 6 year olds.
i guess i'm just the same naive person that pea said i was.
maybe.
but today was fun.
we should really do it again.
Monday, August 02, 2004
1. name: anjali.
2. single or taken: swingin'.
3. sex: f
4. birthday: sept 1st 1987
5. siblings: gee.
6. hair color: black eye color: brown
8. shoe size: 8.5
9. height: almooost 170.. almoost..
f a s h i o n s t u f f
1. where is your favorite place to shop? hmm.. somewhere cheap? like overseas.
2.any tattoos or piercings: used to have 3 earholes.
s p e c i f i c s
1. do you do drugs?: no.
2. what kind of shampoo do you use?: l'oreal elseve
3. what are you most scared of?: losing someone.
4. who is the last person that called you?: pea.
6. where do you want to get married?: somewhere posh.
7. how many buddies are online right now?: 2. it's 2.34am.
8. what would you change about yourself?: dark eye circles.
f a v o u r i t e s
1. color: purple
2. food: ice cream
3. boys names: ?
4. girls names: anjali? haha.
5. subjects in school: recess.
6. animals: humans.
7. sports: the closest i can get is air hockey.
h a v e y o u e v e r
1. given anyone a bath? no.
2. smoked?: no.
3. bungee jumped?: no
4. made yourself throw up?: no
5. skinny dipped?: as a kid.
6: ever been in love?: more like .. being in like?
7. made yourself cry to get out of trouble?: haha. i should.
8. pictured your crush naked?: yucks.
9. actually seen your crush naked?: yucks.
10. cried when someone died?: yeah
11. lied: duh.
12. fallen for your best friend?: i've fallen for hong yan.. hahaha.
13. been rejected?: aiyah.. hong yan la. but hong yan initiated it first..
14. rejected someone?: haha. not that i can remember la.
15. used someone?: probably
16. done something you regret?: too much.
a r e y o u
understanding: maybe.
open-minded: i hope.
arrogant: sometimes.
insecure: much moer often than i let it show.
interesting: not to myself.
random: haha. that one definitely.
hungry: yes.
smart: no. deoo for commons. c'mon.
moody: i get mood swings sometimes.
hard working: ha. hahahaha.
organized: HA
healthy: when i bother to be. often failing miserably...
shy: depends.
difficult: yes.
attractive: maybe with the right plastic surgeon.
bored easily: yes.
messy: yes
obsessed: with.. myself..?
c u r r e n t
clothes: a towel.
music: jars of clay.
make-up: half asleep
smell: mango bodywash from bodyshop.
favorite group: the kids i hang out with.
picture: misc photos.
book youre reading: shape july issue. i don't read books.
cd player: maroon 5. songs about jane.
dvd player: one of my dad's dvds.. he won;t let me touch his surround sound cause i'll break it. color of toenails: nude.
l a s t p e r s o n
you touched: my mom.
hugged: yus.
you imed: weeg.
you yelled at: mom.
you kissed: hongyan.
w h o d o y o u w a n n a
kill: person who invented school life and exams.
slap: her.
get really wasted with: haha. my useless friends.. ;)
look like: elle mcpherson. gorgeous.
talk to offline: pea. she was supposed to call me.
talk to online: hong yan. she's totally random.
F i n a l q u e s t i o n s
1. do you like fillings these out?: they are worth killing time with.
2. gold or silver: white gold. style without compromising cost.
3. what was the last film you saw at the movies?: mean girls.
4. favorite cartoon/anime? justice league. and batman forever
5. what did you have for breakfast this morning? bread.
6. who would you love being locked in a room with? someone interesting. haha. maybe yus. she'll like find a way to get us out.
7. could you live without your computer? maybe
8. would you color your hair? done it before.
9. could you ever get off the computer? not really.
10. habla espanol? si. mais je preferee francais.
11. how many people are on your buddy list? 137
12. drink alcohol? sometimes.
15 Random Favorites
1. caramel and chocolate chip ice cream
2. candles
3. sleep
4. new shoes
5. clothes that i look good in.
6. ixus i digicam
7. sparklers
8. fat free chocolate pudding.
9. beach.
10. broadband
11. watching friends.
12. subway sandwiches
13. nice smelling soap
14. mocha frap. extra cream. extra chocolate.
15. my besties.
14 Favorite Foods
1. subway's parmesean oregano turkey breast.
2. cucumber
3. thai express' pineapple rice
4. nydc's frankenstein
5. zinger burger
6. a&w curly fries
7. cafe 211's oreo sundae
8. honeydew
9. rocky road ice cream.
10. famous amos double chocolate chip cookies.
11. ripe bananas.
12. long john's fries.
13. dumpling soup
14. chocolate.
13 Most Watched Shows
1. friends
2. oc
3. gilmore girls
4. smallville
5. simpsons
6. malcolm in the middle
7. boston high
8. the practice
9. stark raving mad
10. america's next top model
11. nip/tuck
12. under one roof
13. day time talkshow
12 Good Bands In Your Opinion
1. maroon 5
2. u2
3. dashboard confessional
4. ash
5. jars of clay
6. south
7. jimmy eat world
8. incubus
9. jane's addiction
10. counting crows
11. our lady peace
12. american hifi
11 Memories
1. playing frisbee for the first time as so3L
2. singing jimmy eat world sonsg at the top of our voices during maths and getting yelled at by mrs gek.
3. having dinner with pea, gwen and jean. and taking tons of crap videos of flaring nostrils.. that still make me smile..
4. prom. and the farewell ceremony.
5. rmun 2004
6. saying goodbye last year. the uncertainty of it all.
7. moving house.
8. being paralyzed for 6 months.
9. all the useless times old clique and i would spend together
10. useless times new clique and i would spend together.
11. useless times i spend now with everyone.
10 Close Friends
1. yus
2. pea
3. gwendo
4. jean
5. mahaen
6. chengs
7. steph
8. hong yan
9. mellie
10. poubelle..
9 Things You're Looking Forward To
1. dinner tomorrow.
2. going swimming
3. new shose
4. lysis.
5. openhouse
6. ra exco party.
7. school paying me back the $50 they owe me
8. holidays
9. j2
8 Things You Wear Daily
1. underwear
2. sports bra?
3. earrings
4. nailpolish
5. shorts
6. school uniform
7. shoes
8. handphone in my pocket
7 Things That Annoy You
1. irritating people like her.
2. two faced girls who tend to always come from a certain school.
3. superficial people
4. smokers
5. tamil lessons
6. homework
7. pw.
6 Things You Touch Every Day
1. my bag
2. the tv remote
3. computer keyboard
4. my phone
5. my toothbrush
6. the doorknob?
5 Movies You Could Watch Over and Over
1. cruel intentions
2. yamakasi
3. x men
4. princess diaries
5. disney movies
4 Of Your Favorite Toys When You Were Little
1. barbie
2. polly pocket.
3. captain planet, power rangers and teenage ninja mutant turtles figurines
4. paint.
3 Things You Cant Live Without
1. water
2. a clean shower
3. the people that i am close to.
2 Of Your Favorite Songs At This Moment
1. drops of jupiter - train
2. just because - jane's addiction
1 person you'd Spend the Rest of Your Life With: who knows, hopefully you. ;)
2. single or taken: swingin'.
3. sex: f
4. birthday: sept 1st 1987
5. siblings: gee.
6. hair color: black eye color: brown
8. shoe size: 8.5
9. height: almooost 170.. almoost..
f a s h i o n s t u f f
1. where is your favorite place to shop? hmm.. somewhere cheap? like overseas.
2.any tattoos or piercings: used to have 3 earholes.
s p e c i f i c s
1. do you do drugs?: no.
2. what kind of shampoo do you use?: l'oreal elseve
3. what are you most scared of?: losing someone.
4. who is the last person that called you?: pea.
6. where do you want to get married?: somewhere posh.
7. how many buddies are online right now?: 2. it's 2.34am.
8. what would you change about yourself?: dark eye circles.
f a v o u r i t e s
1. color: purple
2. food: ice cream
3. boys names: ?
4. girls names: anjali? haha.
5. subjects in school: recess.
6. animals: humans.
7. sports: the closest i can get is air hockey.
h a v e y o u e v e r
1. given anyone a bath? no.
2. smoked?: no.
3. bungee jumped?: no
4. made yourself throw up?: no
5. skinny dipped?: as a kid.
6: ever been in love?: more like .. being in like?
7. made yourself cry to get out of trouble?: haha. i should.
8. pictured your crush naked?: yucks.
9. actually seen your crush naked?: yucks.
10. cried when someone died?: yeah
11. lied: duh.
12. fallen for your best friend?: i've fallen for hong yan.. hahaha.
13. been rejected?: aiyah.. hong yan la. but hong yan initiated it first..
14. rejected someone?: haha. not that i can remember la.
15. used someone?: probably
16. done something you regret?: too much.
a r e y o u
understanding: maybe.
open-minded: i hope.
arrogant: sometimes.
insecure: much moer often than i let it show.
interesting: not to myself.
random: haha. that one definitely.
hungry: yes.
smart: no. deoo for commons. c'mon.
moody: i get mood swings sometimes.
hard working: ha. hahahaha.
organized: HA
healthy: when i bother to be. often failing miserably...
shy: depends.
difficult: yes.
attractive: maybe with the right plastic surgeon.
bored easily: yes.
messy: yes
obsessed: with.. myself..?
c u r r e n t
clothes: a towel.
music: jars of clay.
make-up: half asleep
smell: mango bodywash from bodyshop.
favorite group: the kids i hang out with.
picture: misc photos.
book youre reading: shape july issue. i don't read books.
cd player: maroon 5. songs about jane.
dvd player: one of my dad's dvds.. he won;t let me touch his surround sound cause i'll break it. color of toenails: nude.
l a s t p e r s o n
you touched: my mom.
hugged: yus.
you imed: weeg.
you yelled at: mom.
you kissed: hongyan.
w h o d o y o u w a n n a
kill: person who invented school life and exams.
slap: her.
get really wasted with: haha. my useless friends.. ;)
look like: elle mcpherson. gorgeous.
talk to offline: pea. she was supposed to call me.
talk to online: hong yan. she's totally random.
F i n a l q u e s t i o n s
1. do you like fillings these out?: they are worth killing time with.
2. gold or silver: white gold. style without compromising cost.
3. what was the last film you saw at the movies?: mean girls.
4. favorite cartoon/anime? justice league. and batman forever
5. what did you have for breakfast this morning? bread.
6. who would you love being locked in a room with? someone interesting. haha. maybe yus. she'll like find a way to get us out.
7. could you live without your computer? maybe
8. would you color your hair? done it before.
9. could you ever get off the computer? not really.
10. habla espanol? si. mais je preferee francais.
11. how many people are on your buddy list? 137
12. drink alcohol? sometimes.
15 Random Favorites
1. caramel and chocolate chip ice cream
2. candles
3. sleep
4. new shoes
5. clothes that i look good in.
6. ixus i digicam
7. sparklers
8. fat free chocolate pudding.
9. beach.
10. broadband
11. watching friends.
12. subway sandwiches
13. nice smelling soap
14. mocha frap. extra cream. extra chocolate.
15. my besties.
14 Favorite Foods
1. subway's parmesean oregano turkey breast.
2. cucumber
3. thai express' pineapple rice
4. nydc's frankenstein
5. zinger burger
6. a&w curly fries
7. cafe 211's oreo sundae
8. honeydew
9. rocky road ice cream.
10. famous amos double chocolate chip cookies.
11. ripe bananas.
12. long john's fries.
13. dumpling soup
14. chocolate.
13 Most Watched Shows
1. friends
2. oc
3. gilmore girls
4. smallville
5. simpsons
6. malcolm in the middle
7. boston high
8. the practice
9. stark raving mad
10. america's next top model
11. nip/tuck
12. under one roof
13. day time talkshow
12 Good Bands In Your Opinion
1. maroon 5
2. u2
3. dashboard confessional
4. ash
5. jars of clay
6. south
7. jimmy eat world
8. incubus
9. jane's addiction
10. counting crows
11. our lady peace
12. american hifi
11 Memories
1. playing frisbee for the first time as so3L
2. singing jimmy eat world sonsg at the top of our voices during maths and getting yelled at by mrs gek.
3. having dinner with pea, gwen and jean. and taking tons of crap videos of flaring nostrils.. that still make me smile..
4. prom. and the farewell ceremony.
5. rmun 2004
6. saying goodbye last year. the uncertainty of it all.
7. moving house.
8. being paralyzed for 6 months.
9. all the useless times old clique and i would spend together
10. useless times new clique and i would spend together.
11. useless times i spend now with everyone.
10 Close Friends
1. yus
2. pea
3. gwendo
4. jean
5. mahaen
6. chengs
7. steph
8. hong yan
9. mellie
10. poubelle..
9 Things You're Looking Forward To
1. dinner tomorrow.
2. going swimming
3. new shose
4. lysis.
5. openhouse
6. ra exco party.
7. school paying me back the $50 they owe me
8. holidays
9. j2
8 Things You Wear Daily
1. underwear
2. sports bra?
3. earrings
4. nailpolish
5. shorts
6. school uniform
7. shoes
8. handphone in my pocket
7 Things That Annoy You
1. irritating people like her.
2. two faced girls who tend to always come from a certain school.
3. superficial people
4. smokers
5. tamil lessons
6. homework
7. pw.
6 Things You Touch Every Day
1. my bag
2. the tv remote
3. computer keyboard
4. my phone
5. my toothbrush
6. the doorknob?
5 Movies You Could Watch Over and Over
1. cruel intentions
2. yamakasi
3. x men
4. princess diaries
5. disney movies
4 Of Your Favorite Toys When You Were Little
1. barbie
2. polly pocket.
3. captain planet, power rangers and teenage ninja mutant turtles figurines
4. paint.
3 Things You Cant Live Without
1. water
2. a clean shower
3. the people that i am close to.
2 Of Your Favorite Songs At This Moment
1. drops of jupiter - train
2. just because - jane's addiction
1 person you'd Spend the Rest of Your Life With: who knows, hopefully you. ;)
Sunday, August 01, 2004
today.
woke up nice and early to drive all the way to east coast for french tuition. at this humongous house.
and then turned out my "tuition teacher" was just as clueless as i was about the tys questions.
so she decided that she couldn't give me tuition.
haha.
how hopeless.
then went back mucked about.
realised that my parents' room had a vcr. which wasn't even plugged in la. it was just there gathering dust.
so i tried to be all techie and like try to connect it to the tv.
i had joey's face focused for like a split second.. until it became static again.
oh well.
gave up and watched discovery channel.
until piano.
which is always the same old.
she yelling how the exam's in 3 weeks and i'm going to fail.
i have yet to tell her that that falls on the same day as lysis.
so it's going to be tutorials in the morning.. run over to the exam hall and play a stupid piece and fail.. and then run back to lt1, and change into my costume to sing the peanut song.
vid's probably going to kill me.
but hey.. i have no choice..
piano ended. and then it was the rmun exco party.
well.. maybe not a party.
more like a sit around and talk.
and talk consisted mostly between claudia and aaron talking about their history, econs and lit teachers.
so didn't really know what they were talking about. since i don't take those.
technically, i do take econs.. but leaving the lesson just before it starts and then walking around rj 4 times before finally returning to the classroom 5 minutes before the tutorial ends.. doesn't really constitute taking it.
oh well.
read shape magazine.. from front to back.. then back to front.. then front to back again..
not like i really care what dha i'm taking.
or whether my fitness trainer's being a hog.
but somehow it seemed more interesting.
oh well.
sam and i were stoning and like smsing each other, while sitting next to each other.
haha.
i wanted to go home to watch gilmore girls.
but waited for chun wee's bus to come, and it took super long.
and it was raining.. so i was waiting for someone to come to the bustop so that i could share their umbrella with them and not get mellie's magazine wet.
caught the last 5 minutes of gilmore girls. oh well.
saw aaron loh at the swimming pool with his fiance.
they seem so happy.
but they are getting married in like 3 months.
so they should be happy la.
haven't done any form of homework.
i have however, bathed 5 times today.
how productive.
i now smell of oceanus.
and the more i smell it the more i don't like it.
and stupid me got 2 bottles full of it.
guess i have to show my parents the progress report today.
and email quenot my french stuff.
and finish tamil.
and chem.
and maths.
and econs.
and ra marketing.
and get my lines for lysis.
and try to figure out genetic control and manipulation.
and i'm here blogging.
oh well.
the excuse of "i'm sick" doesn't apply anymore.
and no one's really sympathetic anyway, since i probably passed it to half the class.
oh well.
shaf says this blog layout looks really porno.
haha.
woke up nice and early to drive all the way to east coast for french tuition. at this humongous house.
and then turned out my "tuition teacher" was just as clueless as i was about the tys questions.
so she decided that she couldn't give me tuition.
haha.
how hopeless.
then went back mucked about.
realised that my parents' room had a vcr. which wasn't even plugged in la. it was just there gathering dust.
so i tried to be all techie and like try to connect it to the tv.
i had joey's face focused for like a split second.. until it became static again.
oh well.
gave up and watched discovery channel.
until piano.
which is always the same old.
she yelling how the exam's in 3 weeks and i'm going to fail.
i have yet to tell her that that falls on the same day as lysis.
so it's going to be tutorials in the morning.. run over to the exam hall and play a stupid piece and fail.. and then run back to lt1, and change into my costume to sing the peanut song.
vid's probably going to kill me.
but hey.. i have no choice..
piano ended. and then it was the rmun exco party.
well.. maybe not a party.
more like a sit around and talk.
and talk consisted mostly between claudia and aaron talking about their history, econs and lit teachers.
so didn't really know what they were talking about. since i don't take those.
technically, i do take econs.. but leaving the lesson just before it starts and then walking around rj 4 times before finally returning to the classroom 5 minutes before the tutorial ends.. doesn't really constitute taking it.
oh well.
read shape magazine.. from front to back.. then back to front.. then front to back again..
not like i really care what dha i'm taking.
or whether my fitness trainer's being a hog.
but somehow it seemed more interesting.
oh well.
sam and i were stoning and like smsing each other, while sitting next to each other.
haha.
i wanted to go home to watch gilmore girls.
but waited for chun wee's bus to come, and it took super long.
and it was raining.. so i was waiting for someone to come to the bustop so that i could share their umbrella with them and not get mellie's magazine wet.
caught the last 5 minutes of gilmore girls. oh well.
saw aaron loh at the swimming pool with his fiance.
they seem so happy.
but they are getting married in like 3 months.
so they should be happy la.
haven't done any form of homework.
i have however, bathed 5 times today.
how productive.
i now smell of oceanus.
and the more i smell it the more i don't like it.
and stupid me got 2 bottles full of it.
guess i have to show my parents the progress report today.
and email quenot my french stuff.
and finish tamil.
and chem.
and maths.
and econs.
and ra marketing.
and get my lines for lysis.
and try to figure out genetic control and manipulation.
and i'm here blogging.
oh well.
the excuse of "i'm sick" doesn't apply anymore.
and no one's really sympathetic anyway, since i probably passed it to half the class.
oh well.
shaf says this blog layout looks really porno.
haha.
The drops of rain they fall all over
This awkward silence makes me crazy
The glow inside burns light upon her
I'll try to kiss you if you let me
This can't be the end
Tidal waves they rip right through me
Tears from eyes worn cold and sad
Pick me up now, I need you so bad
Down.
It gets me so down.
It gets me so
Your vows of silence fall all over
The look in your eyes makes me crazy
I feel the darkness break upon her
I'll take you over if you let me
You did this.
Tidal waves they rip right through me
Tears from eyes worn cold and sad
Pick me up now, I need you so bad.
Down.
It gets me so down.
- blink 182.
This awkward silence makes me crazy
The glow inside burns light upon her
I'll try to kiss you if you let me
This can't be the end
Tidal waves they rip right through me
Tears from eyes worn cold and sad
Pick me up now, I need you so bad
Down.
It gets me so down.
It gets me so
Your vows of silence fall all over
The look in your eyes makes me crazy
I feel the darkness break upon her
I'll take you over if you let me
You did this.
Tidal waves they rip right through me
Tears from eyes worn cold and sad
Pick me up now, I need you so bad.
Down.
It gets me so down.
- blink 182.
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