and it ends today.

my last "totally-free" school holiday.

according to the bio lecturer, this is the last holiday that we will ever have in rj since after this, all the holidays we have will constitute of mugging for the os.

bleah.

have done no homework whatsoever.

maybe it's cause i just have no mood to.
or because i totally do not understand anything.

am slacking a lot more than before.
and it's not even play hard and slack.

i miss crescent.
i miss the container block.
i miss 2003.

that year was the busiest ever.
and yet.. it turned out the best.

was doing un for the school until the day before prelims.
putting cca before my studies.
[not that i studied much anyway..]
and as an acknowledgement, they gave me the bronze award.

that time i was nagging at myself.
gold is obviously reserved for the valedictorian..
so there's no use me pining for it.
and besides, she had probably done a million moer things than me.
it was simply the ego maniac talking.

but maybe that was simply it.
in crescent.. things were different.
there was action.
no one studied.
if you did well.. you were naturally smart.
not some mugger.

we would go out practically every day.

people in rj always have something on.
it's either training..
or tuition..
or just some excuse so that they can go home and study more.

i so do not get it.
keep seeing myself asking people to come out with me after school.
and they are always "busy".

coming here has become one huge culture shock.

but here's the million dollar question:
why am i even whining?

i wanted to come to rj anyway.

maybe i'm just a little whiner by nature.

or maybe it's just me.
been slacking too much anyway.
in crescent i'd be so busy doing stuff... i purposely made sure that i would go out and enjoy myself.

i have too much time in jc.
and am doing nothing.

this sucks.

these two years are supposed to be the light years of my life.
and what am i doing?

wiling my time away.

in crescent it worked having 3942972937529 things to do.
am somehow i still could cope in school.

now i have.. nothing?...
and school's killing me.

i am still stuck at the beginning of everything.
according to my *darling* tamil teacher, my tamil's the standard of a sec 2 kid.

bleah.
going out with jean to watch a midsummer night's dream - the play on april 1st.
one of the more interesting things on my totally stoic social life.

i just realised something.
some people are busy everyday with 1 cca.

and i have 4.

yet, i do nothing.

bleah.

stacie's mom playing on the radio.
justina and i would scream out this song whenever we felt like it during lessons.
and the teachers would just smile and let us continue.

haha.

those days were fun.

the tutors in rj are so.. impersonal.

no one to accuse us of our warped sexual orientations like rupa..
no one to shout at us for "sitting like a boy" like dorai..
no one to make super lame jokes like goh wee suan..
no one to make fun of like slow..

i used to keep complaining about them when they were my teachers...
but no come to think of it..
it was these simple weird, irritating things they had that made life so interesting.

sigh.

the new school term starts in 10 hours.
next 1 3/4 years of studying.

wish me luck.