i am horribly broke.

sheau ying paid for my dinner two nights ago.

abigail paid for my brunch yesterday at macs.

yus paid for everything else.

i have used $0.00 for the past 3 days.

and then last night, dad finally gingerly gave me $20.

and then raphael was broke so i graciously handed him my $20 to pay for the medfac pizza hoping that everyone else would fork over the money sooner or later and pay him back so that he can pay me.

but no one paid.

and i am broke again.

i have $1.20 in my wallet.

which means that i have just enough to make 4 ice teas last the entire week.

bah.

maybe i shuold go around conning people of their money telling them that it is for charity like firas.

firas: *decides to socialise and come to the class table.* eh. donate to charity.
me: what charity?
firas: the starving kids fund.
yus: ok.
me: it's the starving firas fund. don't give him money.
firas: why are you so mean. come la, donate money.

i can't believe yus actually gave him money.

it's super irritating how i am surrounded by geps.
who are super smart.

but i was asking for it when i came to rj.

pea told me to be careful since it was said that rj people tend to be quite pretentious.

i trust pea.
but somehow it doesn't mean that i have to agree with everything you say.

but she seems to be having fun in pj.

most people are having fun.

my cheng siew beat cj in basketball 43-21
or something like that.

we've become closer, i think. like how we were back in rgps.

and jean and gwen are having fun in ac.
met them again for collection of o level results.

smiled a lot.
i have yet to cry.

there is the oh so obvious reason of realizing that i did worse than my prelims.

they told me that i let them down.
a2 for both english and pure lit.

those were my a1s in the prelim.

english is the only language i speak at home.

coming back to rj the next day was not much of an ego booster either.

counting my cca grade, i have 6a1s.
a2s for those two.
b3s for tamil and french.

the top malay student in singapore is the little girl who sits next to me in class. and pays for all my nonsense.
the top indian student was the girl who sat next to me in p6.

at least two people in my class have 10a1s.
half of mine.

i only take nine subjects anyway.

how interesting.

irritating sec 4s asked for an interview before i even went in.
they said that since i am the "inspiration" or whatever i shuold do well for my os too.

bah.

too bad la.

the bare minimum is a perfect 6.

which i did not get.

thanks to my a2.

made me realize what kind of a small fry i was in rj. compared to crescent.

depresses me somewhat.

and the second reason.
going back to crescent, things have changed.

people..
are not the same.

ok. sorry for stating the obvious. but still.

slightly nostalgic walking down the corridors.
seeing the stoners.

and then the hall.
everyone was there.

people were...
just not there anymore.

everyone was in jc now.
no more secondary school immaturity.

i miss it.

like how we would sit in the corridor of the container block and clap whenever someone leaves from the toilet.

and how you could pon lessons and pretend to be sick.

and the stupid-ness of acting like an idiot and not caring.

and the tears.

i miss that.

you can cry in crescent.
whenever you want.

and people will cry with you.
and for you.

in rj, you're your own person.
and you are expected to act as an adult.

i don't want that.

i still like to be babyfied.

call me immature or spoilt or whatever.
i do not want to grow up.