this romeo is bleeding
but you can see his blood
it's nothing that some feelings
that this old dog kicked up

its been raining since you left me
now i'm drowning in the flood
see i've always been a fighter
but without you, i'd give up

now i can't sing a love song
like the way it's meant to be
well i guess i'm not that good anymore
but baby thats just me

now the pictures that you left behind
are just memories of a different life
some of them made us laugh
some of them made us cry
why they made have to say goodbye

what i'd give to run my fingers through your hair
touch your lips, to hold you near
when you say your prayers, try to understand
i've made mistakes, i'm just a man

when he holds you close
when he pulls you near
when says the words you've been meaning to hear
i wish i was him, with those words of mine
to say to you til the end of time

if you told me to cry for you, i could
if you told me to die for you, i would
take a look at my face, there's no price i won't pay
to say these words to you

well there ain't no luck in these loaded dice
but baby if you give me just one more time
we can pack up our old dreams and our old lives
we'll find a place where the sun still shines

i will love you, always
and i'll be there forever and a day

i'll be there til stars don't shine
till the heavens burst
and the words don't rhyme
i know when i die, you'll be on my mind
and i'll love you,
always.

all day
staring at the ceiling
making friends with shadows on my wall

all night
hearing voices telling me
that i should get some sleep
because tomorrow might be good for something

hold on
feeling like i'm headed for a breakdown
and i don't know why

me,
talking to myself in public
and dodging glances on the train
and I know
i know they've all been talking bout me
i can hear them whisper
and it makes me think that there must be something wrong with me
out of all the hours thinking
somehow i've lost my mind

i've been talking in my sleep
pretty soon they'll come to get me
yeah, they're taking me away

well i'm not crazy
i'm just a little unwell
i know right now you can't tell
but stay a while and maybe then you'll see
a different side of me

i'm not crazy
i'm just a little impaired
i know, right now you don't care
but soon enough you're gonna think of me
and how I used to be.

karl and david were singing this song after bio lecture.
they *so* do not do gloria gaynor justice.
especially when they try to sound diva-ish.

haha. but it's damn catchy.
after that me and yus were singing together.

at first i was afraid
i was petrified
kept thinking i could never live
without you by my side
but i spent so many nights
thinking how you did me wrong
i grew strong
i learned how to carry on
and so you're back
from outer space
i just walked in to find you here
with that sad look upon your face
i should have changed my stupid lock
i should have made you leave your key
if I had known for just one second
you'd be back to bother me

it took all the strength i had
just not to fall apart
kept trying hard to mend
the pieces of my broken heart
and i spent oh so many nights
just feeling sorry for myself
i used to cry
now I hold my head up high
and you see me
with somebody new
i'm not that chained up little person
still in love with you
and so you felt like dropping in
and just expect me to be free
now i'm saving all my loving
for someone who's loving me

go on now go walk out the door
just turn around now
'cause you're not welcome anymore
weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye
did you think i'd crumble
did you think i'd lay down and die
oh no, not i
i will survive
as long as i know how to love
i know i will stay alive
i've got all my life to live
i've got all my love to give
and i'll survive
i will survive.

haha.
maths test on thursday.
trigonometry. yikes.

was super bored today during bio lecture.
then suddenly ranon asked if i had a blog.
if was more of a conformation really, i think he already knew.

and then we decided to do this swapping thing.
and i wrote the old blog address.
half truth la.

anyway, he didn't give his real blog address either.
but i found it out now.

so should i tell him?
hmm.. maybe not.

so3L knows like *all* of my secrets. it's damn scary.
and somehow they just leak out.

and the blog.
thuoght that they wouldn't find out.
then mellie saw.
and linked.
and then everyone knew.

aiyah. but it's not like i don't trust them or anything.
i mean i'm super close to those kids. even though i've only knew them for 4 months.
even the newbies, who i've known for like.. 2 months?

just the thought that these people would be reading this.. judging me..

it's different when it's some stranger.
i mean.. maybe he'll read it.. leave a comment, and never see you again.

it's different when it's someone you know.
and it's the worst thing when they say "you don't sound like you in your blog."
or when they start judging you on your blog. and then start comparing you to what you behave like in school.

cause not many people realize that we react differently in different situations.
at home, i'm horribly sarcastic. and spoilt. and childish and everything.
when i'm in school, i'm a little insane. but sociable.
with friends i'm horribly insane.
and with close friends, i'm a little more serious.
and while blogging it becomes emotional.
something like an overload of feelings.

insecurities. fears. dreams. nightmares. all exposed.
which makes it the most raw.

and the most dangerous.

just like how some eskimo can read my blog and read about my crush on x and everything.
no matter.

whole game changes when x's best friend reads it and spreads it around the whole school.

get my drift?

maybe i should abandon this one too. just like how i abandoned the earlier one cause the teachers in crescent and gee found out about it.

and then tell the people whom i'm close to about it. the people whom i don't mind gushing to.
and then tell them not to link.

but then again, i lose the whole stranger thing.
i mean.. there are these strangers who just happen to click on my name from their friend's blog.. have no idea who i am.. and start reading.. and leave a comment..

that's nice.

makes me feel that someone out there feels the same way.

will think about it.

and ranon, if you found this, congratulations.
maybe a career as a detective cum stalker might be of interest.